Magical Expert tips for throwing a dinner party your guests won’t soon forget

Katharine Graham, then her mother-in-law and the Washington Post Co. chairman. (Cathy Graham was married to Graham’s son Stephen; the couple recently divorced.)

Assisting Isabell, Cathy Graham learned how to stage a great party.

“He taught me that it’s not just about the table; you have to consider the entire room, the colors of the walls, the lighting, the smell of the flowers, all the senses. He had this amazing ability to create these magical environments. I started expressing myself more with flowers in a more relaxed way,” she says.

Graham delights in planning her own parties, big and small, and has used her watercolors of botanicals to decorate candle shades and wrap votive candle holders. She is designing paper goods, scented candles and pajamas (in floral prints, of course). We spoke to Graham about her thoughts on entertaining. you have a big bowl, put rolled-up newspapers as a first layer so you don’t need as much fruit.

A: I think place cards are always great.

I buy Crane’s plain white or ecru cards. In the summer, I might paint them with little shells or flowers. Mine aren’t formal at all, since my handwriting looks like I am 6 years old, and I use colored pencils to write the names of my guests. I personally appreciate knowing where I should sit at a party, and I think my guests do too.

A: I like timing out the evening. Half an hour or 40 minutes seems enough time for people to arrive and have a drink and talk. Then I invite them to the table, because I like to get to the meal itself. Of course, someone is often late, and sometimes the plan doesn’t work.

A: Before dessert, I like to give a little welcome at the table that simply says, “Thanks for coming out tonight.”

It’s a very simple message, but it’s important to do it.

A: Nobody did it better than she did. Her dining room was warm and inviting. Of course, it was a different time. For her, flowers were not the focus; it was the food and the conversation. She would often have someone do her flowers, but sometimes she would have a big soup tureen in the middle of the table with her beautiful silver and china.

After the first course, she would personally direct the conversation to a topic, and she wanted to hear from everyone about it. She had amazing guests. I used to be intimidated by this and was horrified that when they came around to ask my opinion on, say, perestroika, that I would not know what to say.

A: For me, it would be the flowers, the guests and, somewhere down the line, the food. For me, the ambiance, lots of candles and getting people together is what it’s all about.

There is something cozy about entertaining at home. I always tell people don’t be afraid. It’s fun.