Holidays can bring further stress for those with autism

The last time Stephanie Cooper took her son David to church service was two years ago, when he was 7.

David has autism and can’t sit still for long periods of time. Not too long after the service started, he was put in the crying room.

“I finally gave up and said that I could teach him about the word of God at home and there are Christmas programs on TV,” said Cooper, of Ocoee. “I can’t speak for other parents, but for me it’s easier to stay home.”

It was a tough decision for Cooper, who gives autism training to first responders for a living. With at least one in 68 children diagnosed with autism in the United States, she is far from alone in her experience during the holidays.

“For most, the holidays can be a magical time and a fun time, but if you have a child with autism, it can be a stressful time,” said Lindsay Naeder, director of Autism Response Team at the national nonprofit Autism Speaks.

Routines are disrupted. Lights, music and crowds mean unwelcome sensory overloads.

And then there are the judgmental stares when a child has a meltdown. And then there’s Santa. “For many families going to the mall to see Santa could be a highlight of the season, but for a child with autism it can be challenging to have to sit on someone unknown’s laps and have a conversation with the stranger and make eye contact,” said Dr. Amy Fritz-Ocock, coordinator of education and training programs at the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities at UCF.

At Autism Speaks, the number of calls and emails usually spike around the holidays, Naeder said. Most people are seeking advice, ranging from gift ideas to travel tips.

“We want our families to expand their horizons and to not limit their experiences,” she said. “So we suggest that they plan ahead and understand the limits and boundaries of their child and to try to plan for that.”

But with increased awareness, there’s a growing body of resources, programs and autism-friendly events.

The Scott Center for Autism Training, a nonprofit research, training and treatment center in Melbourne, recently launched a Happier Holiday Toolkit on its free resource website AutismAdvisor.org.

The toolkit features eight training videos for popular holiday topics such as flying in an airplane and attending holiday gatherings.

The Scott Center has also been asking Santa to drop by for a special visit every year so parents don’t miss out on the visit if they can’t go to the mall.

Dougie Flutie, 26, loves the commotion and excitement of the holidays and enjoys the decorations and the lights, said his mom, Laurie, wife of famed football player Doug Flutie. The family lives in Melbourne Beach.

“But I don’t really take him to the mall,” she said. “I think he does get a little overwhelmed when he goes there, so it’s nice that they do this here. It’s more of a familiar setting and he’s really comfortable with it.”

Autism Speaks has also been collaborating with Cherry Hill Programs, a company that arranges Santa visits to various venues including malls, to give the Santas autism training and arrange for special hours before the mall opens.

Autism Speaks also has a calendar of autismfriendly events on its website.

And each year, it finds more retailers, businesses and organizations to add to that list.

“We love to see this and every single year we see more of it,” Naeder said.

This year, in Central Florida, one more event has been added to the calendar.

Ocoee Oaks United Methodist Church is for the first time holding an autism-friendly Christmas service on Saturday.

It all started with a chance encounter between Cooper and church pastor Wade Arnold.

“We struck up a conversation and she was telling me about her son,” Arnold recalled. “And I asked her what were the needs of her family and other families who have children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. And she said, ‘none of us go to church.’ And that surprised me.”

His natural response was to seek a solution. So he began working with Cooper, who through her nonprofit, Autism Law Enforcement Response Training, helped Ocoee Oaks UMC organize the service with dimmed lights, quieter music and sensory kits.

As of Monday, 61 people had signed up to attend the free service.

“I’m grateful that Pastor Wade was willing to do this… I want my child with me. It’s not fair to put [the kids] away,” Cooper said.

Said Arnold: “And there won’t be stigma. That’s the biggest thing.”