Santa’s Christmas as home — Mrs. Santa takes the reins

This time of year brings forth so many wonderful memories, starting with my third-grade teacher, Miss Neptune, who was the best storyteller I ever encountered as a child. To be sure, she read stories to her class each and every day throughout the school year. But at year’s end, as we all anticipated the season of giving and receiving gifts, her stories about Santa Claus were early gifts to cherish, especially as she explained to the stillbelieving youngsters that Santa would pay them a visit — even if they didn’t sport a chimney in their apartment homes in the coal areas of Appalachia.

After my late wife, Mallie, bore our two children in the 1960s, Santa took on another dimension because the void left by many schoolteachers keeping a hands-off the subject was filled by Mallie getting books out of the library to read to the kids. And I recall fondly seeing Debbie and Tommy on the sofa with Mallie as she did more than read the North Pole story but performed the narrative. With a flair for the dramatic (we met on the stage of the Annie Russell Theatre at Rollins College), she could animate them even with stories that were at best only marginally interesting.

But Mallie did more than read Santa Claus stories. A prolific and successful freelance writer, she penned Santa and other stories for newspapers and even wrote a child’s book that I found by going through her computer recently. It’s entitled “Santa’s Christmas at Home,” which, as I recall, she hoped to publish but could never find an illustrator to complete the manuscript.

Here’s the gist of her story — for kids of all ages:

It’s Christmas Eve at the North Pole, and Santa, his wife and elves are engaging in lastminute preparations for the big ordeal. It’s a gleeful scene, everyone merry that at long last all the toys have been made, the names and addresses of all the children checked and rechecked, and the reindeer in good order to make it through the long night.

Mrs. Santa asks Santa to fetch the just-baked cookies from the oven as a sweet send-off for the crew. But after a few minutes, there’s no sign of Santa, so the elves make a search, only to find Santa on the floor, having fallen and sprained his ankle. Santa and the elves are in a panic. How can the night proceed with an injured Santa?

But Mrs. Santa tells all about her SEP — Secret Emergency Plan. “For many years now,” she says calmly, “I have been concerned that just this sort of accident might unfortunately happen, even with your caution, Santa. Wait. I have a surprise for you.” Mrs. Santa went out of the room while Santa and the elves looked at each other in confusion and growing concern.

Voila! She returns fully dressed in a Santa suit, with cap and boots. Santa’s concern isn’t eliminated, but his little sigh of relief is accompanied with a plea that his Mrs. check in with him during the night in the event there are address changes and last-minute gift snafus. Off the elves, reindeer and Mrs. Santa venture into the sky under a beautiful moon, with Mrs. Santa continually checking her list.

Down and up chimneys she ventures, getting a little sooty. But the homes are warm and filled with goodies for her. “No wonder Santa tries to diet each spring,” thought Mrs. Santa. The experience is overflowing with joy and emotion — so much so that Mrs. Santa felt her eyes becoming a little misty.

Oops, there’s a house without a chimney, with Mrs. Santa having to venture through the front door, only to find two children still awake and surprised to find a woman. But in soothing language, she explains Santa’s accident and the necessity for a back-up. As the kids digest her thoughts, Mrs. Santa looks down at the children and kisses each one. “Hurry, now, back to bed.”

Not surprisingly, she had to check in with Santa a couple times about address changes, but all went well. The return trip to the North Pole was long but satisfying, especially as a relieved Santa met her. Mrs. Santa removed her cap and gloves before sitting in the chair, usually reserved for Santa. Oh my, she thought, what a wonderful night it had been. She was not happy Santa had fallen and hurt himself. But the thrill of the evening was so fresh and special that her face must have shown Santa exactly what she was thinking.

For Santa nodded, then said, “Yes, Mrs. Santa. We make a great team, don’t we?”