Hennigan’s fires still burning Magic.
Running off at the typewriter …
With former Orlando Magic first-round draft Victor Oladipo making his first All-Star team this season with the Indiana Pacers, let’s play a little game today involving former Magic general manager Rob Hennigan.
The purpose of game is to help Magic fans take out their frustrations on this flaming grease-fire Hennigan left in his wake. The name of the game is “We Wuz
ROBBED” and here’s how it works: I will list the worst moves of Hennigan’s disastrous 5-year reign as GM and I want you to read each of them out loud and then afterward scream: “We Wuz ROBBED!!!”
1. Trading Oladipo, the most promising player the Magic have drafted since Dwight Howard, and the No. 11 pick (Domantas
Sabonis, who is also part of All-Star Weekend and will play in the Rising Stars game) for Serge
Ibaka, who was a complete bust
in Orlando and is no longer with the team. Oladipo, heading into Saturday’s game with the Magic, is averaging 24.1 points, 5.1 rebounds and 4 assists per game … We Wuz ROBBED!!!
2. Being so inept at putting together a roster that former coach Scott Skiles, an all-time fan favorite who used to play for the team, quit after only one season … We Wuz ROBBED!!!
3. Signing backup center Bismack Biyombo (5.4 points, 5.9 rebounds) to an insane and immovable $17 million-a-year contract. … We Wuz ROBBED!!!
See, don’t you feel a lot better now?
SHORT STUFF: Vince McMahon announced earlier this week that the XFL is making a comeback after 17 years and it seems like a no-brainer that Orlando will once again be awarded a franchise. Personally, I think the nickname of our inevitable new team should pay homage to the all of the failed professional football franchises in our city’s spotty sports history. Let’s give it up for your Orlando Blazing, Thundering, Tuskered, Renegade, Raging, Pred-aPanthers! … Speaking of the XFL, Jamie Seh, WKMG News 6 sports director, cracks that there will also be a new XFL team launched in Montana coached by Jim McElwain: “It’ll be called the Sharks and the uniforms will made of Kevlar due to all the death threats.” … And did you see where McMahon said the XFL will not allow players in the league who have a criminal background? Hey, wait a minute, doesn’t that pretty much exclude the entire SEC? …
Nik Vucevic, the Magic’s longest-tenured player who has endured six years of being on an abysmal team, actually says he would rather stay in Orlando than be traded. For that alone, we should build him a statue! … Did you see where the Taj Mahal is currently undergoing its first serious cleaning in 350 years? Hmmm, that sounds like the bathrooms in the old Citrus Bowl. … Jimmy Fallon, Take 1: “The Eagles advanced to the Super Bowl after beating the Vikings 38-7. The last time someone got beat up that bad in Philadelphia, he had to move in with his auntie and uncle in Bel Air.” … Jimmy Fallon, Take 2: “Also, the New England Patriots advanced to the Super Bowl. Did you see this though? It looked like one of the referees was actually celebrating with the Patriots after the game. When asked if the game was rigged, the ref said, [Russian accent] ‘No, was completely normal game of American football. Hehheh.’ ”
Tweet of the week in response to my blog about how Tim Tebow should be the quarterback if and when Orlando is awarded an XFL franchise: “Nickname on the back of his jersey could be, ‘He Circumcise Me.’ ” … The Florida Gators have allowed four of the credit-card thieves to return to the football team. Charge on! … It sure sounds like FSU quarterback
Deondre Francois did nothing wrong during a domestic-violence incident earlier this week, but, sadly, when you hear these three words — “Tallahassee Police Department” — you just naturally assume otherwise. … Elton John announced earlier this week that he is going to retire after his next world tour. My three favorite Sir Elton songs as they pertain to sports: (1) “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”
(Scott Frost says farewell to UCF); (2) “Someone Saved My Life Tonight (Jim McElwain sings about his imaginary death threats); (3) “I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues” (ode to Magic fans). … By the way, you know things are bad for the Magic when coach Frank Vogel, after his team out-awfulled the Sacramento Kings earlier this week, was asked if the loss was a case of the Magic “not being able to handle success.” Sadly, a one-game winning streak qualifies as success for a Magic team that hasn’t won two consecutive games in 2½ months. Everybody all at once, “We Wuz Robbed!!! …