The child broke it, so the adults should ‘buy’ it

Dear Amy: My young daughter recently had a slumber party.

One of her friends was playing on my husband's iPad, and while walking away with it, she dropped it and shattered the screen.

My husband jokingly said, "You break it, you bought it." I think this scared her. She went into my daughter's room and hid under a blanket. She cried for a long time. I was not home when it happened.

I texted the child's father (our neighbor across the street) to tell him she accidentally broke the iPad and that she was inconsolable. When she finally emerged, my husband told her that he wasn't mad at her and that we like her very much. She seemed somewhat comforted by this.

Since then, we have not been contacted by the parents or received an apology.

My husband would like them to replace the iPad screen, but they have three children and not a lot of money. Still, it would be nice if they would offer something.

My husband can be very grumpy, and in the past, has had some negative interactions with this family.

My daughter is afraid that if he says something, her friend won't want to come over anymore, because she is already afraid of my husband.

What are your thoughts?

Dear Wondering: You don't say how old these children are, but your husband (presumably) was in charge of the group while you were gone, and so I'd say that when an adult hands a child an iPad -- or doesn't take it from her -- then: "If she breaks it, YOU bought it.

Your husband already "joked" his way into scaring this girl. I give you all credit for working hard to comfort her.

It would be appropriate for the neighbors to help their child to write a note -- or contact you to say, "We are so sorry this happened. We hope you'll understand and forgive our daughter, and we'll try to find a way to make things right."

It does not sound like these neighbors have it together enough to do this -- either that, or the fact that your husband has had "negative interactions" with them in the past has intimidated them into paralysis.

The lesson here -- for all of you -- is that, in life, stuff happens. It is important to be forgiving and to move forward with integrity.