Workplace mentor falls down on the job

Dear Amy: I am a mentee in a “future women leaders” program at my organization. I am paired with a director of a different department. She and I get along very well, but she is not on speaking terms with the director of my department, and has gone so far as to file a complaint against my immediate supervisor, a woman I respect greatly.

So far, my mentor has not reached out to me to organize our first mentoring session. Perhaps it is because she is very busy, but I suspect it is also because she is basically at war with my department, going so far as to instruct some of her subordinates not to speak to my colleagues (although they still speak to me).

I sent an initial, “Thank you, and I’m looking forward to working with you” email to her upon the human-resources department informing us that we were paired together. I have not reached out to her again and haven’t heard from her.

I am not sure how I would handle any discussions about my department, in particular my supervisors, should it come up. More generally, I have doubts about being mentored by a person who seems to have difficulties working with others, although I have no direct negative personal experiences with her. On the other hand, I don’t want to lose the opportunity to be mentored. What should I do?

Dear Missing: You should contact your human-resources department and ask to be paired with another “woman leader” in your organization. The mentor’s lack of follow-through is reason enough to try to switch. The prospective mentor you were paired with does not seem to exemplify the type of leadership you should choose to emulate. However, if you do end up paired with her, this presents opportunities for you. If you continue to demonstrate the sort of discretion and ability to get along with all colleagues (including her) that you demonstrate in your question, you may be qualified to mentor her.

I’ll pass along great advice I received on my very first day in a professional job, delivered by my (female) supervisor: Don’t trash anyone. Always keep your personal feelings about a colleague very close to the vest. Behave professionally, do your work, stand up for yourself and your work with confidence, take correction when you’re wrong and direction when you need it and try to demonstrate that you can work with a variety of people. You might benefit from reading Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg’s book, “Lean in: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead,” (2013, Knopf ).