Hard to cheer for NFL’s latest change
The NFL underwent a fundamental change this past week. No, it wasn’t the new catch rule or the crackdown on using helmets to rattle opponents’ brains.
It was and
They were unveiled as the first male cheerleaders in NFL history. We’ll pause now to let
roll over in his grave.
Iron Mike isn’t actually dead, but the league’s latest move might make him want to crawl onto the ledge of a Chicago skyscraper and jump.
I must admit that I felt like joining him when I first heard the news. But then, as a fantasizing teen, I had a poster of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders on my bedroom wall.
Frankly, it never occurred to me that
might one day make the squad.
Now we have Peron and Jinnies, who will be cheering this fall for the Los Angeles Rams.
It should be pointed out that Baltimore and Indianapolis already have male cheerleaders. But they perform the traditional hairy-chested guy’s duties like throwing women in the air.
Peron and Jinnies will be dancing, high-kicking and basically shaking their groove things. As I said, my initial reaction was that this is another sign of the apocalypse.
Then I got to thinking: Why not?
Forget the old-fashioned rah-rah stuff. The main function of NFL cheerleaders is to be eye candy. Male fans have been given plenty to leer at over the years.
Why shouldn’t female fans have something similar to keep them entertained during timeouts?
To back that notion I stumbled upon a 2015 study by two British professors. It found that having male cheerleaders strengthens gender relations.
“Mixed-sex sporting activity, it is hoped, may be able to stage a counter to such socially regressive gender pedagogy,” the researchers wrote, “by providing transformative experiences that challenge traditional ideas of male superiority.”
As a product of socially regressive gender pedagogy, I have no clue what that means. But I think they’re saying Neanderthals like me COMMENTARY need to evolve when it comes to gender roles.
So to Quinton and Napoleon, I say, “Congratulations and shake your groove things.”
But please forgive me if I can’t bring myself to put up a poster of the L.A. Rams cheerleaders.
The Marlins pitcher threw the first pitch of the major-league season and had it smacked into the upper deck by Chicago’s
Urena hit three batters and walked two more in the first inning.
It was the perfect tonesetting way for the Marlins to begin their season.
China. Its Tiangong-1 space station is expected to re-enter Earth’s atmosphere this morning, unleashing a series of fireballs carrying highly toxic chemicals that could hit highly populated areas.
A spokesman for the Chinese space agency denied Tiangong-1 is having any problems and said the conflagration will actually be the Miami Marlins reentering the major-league atmosphere.
reportedly went out for the Yale dance team but was cut when his spandex tights ripped during tryouts. The Chinese space agency is now claiming the Tiangong-1 is actually a free throw re-entering Earth’s atmosphere and is advising all Charlotte residents to go to the nearest bomb shelter.
In a major technological breakthrough, the Yankees unveiled beer last week with images of players like and floating in the suds. The images are made by a device called Beer Ripples.
In related news, Marlins CEO said the team could not afford Stanton’s image and that fans will be served flat beer for the next five seasons.
The History Channel reports that Germany failed to properly supply troops on the Western Front because
did not think a former U.S. cheerleader was capable of leading the DDay invasion.
last week said there is no hell. He obviously is not a Magic season-ticket holder.
The L.A. Rams said their projected $2.6 billion stadium will probably cost closer to $3 billion because architects might have to expand the facility in order to house
ego. In an effort to one-up the Yankees, the Mets unveiled their official team bottled water last week. When the image of appears in it, the water turns into wine.