Wedding season provides some familiar dilemmas

Dear Amy: My fiance and I are having a rather large wedding (it's the second time for both of us). We are in our 60s.

My fiance is from a wonderful large family. All his nieces and nephews and their spouses will be invited.

The problem is one niece. She is always rude to me. Her rudeness is obvious to everyone. I've been very quiet about it, and have never provoked her.

Amy, she is in her 30s! I'm glad she is the only toxic person in my new family!

Here's the problem: I really don't want to invite her to our wedding.

My fiance says to ignore her, and that we have to invite her.

Why should I invite someone that treats me like that?

Other family members have witnessed her rudeness. They're passive about it.

It seems her mother (my future sister-in-law) condones her behavior!

So, do I have to invite her to my wedding?

Dear Family Matters: Well, it's not really your wedding. It is your and your fiance's wedding. If he has only one rude and obnoxious member in his large and otherwise wonderful family, then I'd say you're both pretty lucky -- and definitely beating the national average.

Ignore her. Minimize any contact with her (which can be easy to do at your large wedding). Families come in many hues and combinations of good and obnoxious. For better (and perhaps worse), this person will be part of yours. Make a determination to enjoy your day. And then do that.

Dear Amy: Oh, dear, I was devastated to read the letter from "Party of None," the woman who threw herself a 40th birthday party, and only two people came.

Thank you for you compassionate and understanding response to her letter. I agree that this is probably more common than people will admit.

Dear Been There: This question opened the flood gates for readers, many of whom responded that they have had similar experiences. This is why I offered to go to her next party, and I hope she takes me up on it.