Kiper as accurate as Weekly World News
Did you see the latest round of NFL mock drafts?
NBC Sports and my dentist have the Dolphins taking alien lovechild with the 11th pick.
If you’re a devotee of mock drafts, you’ll know that isn’t as crazy as it sounds.
As part of its 1992 prediction package, The Weekly World News predicted Oprah would have a romantic encounter with a space alien. It’s easy to laugh at such nonsense, but the Weekly World News is actually better at predicting the future than most mock drafters.
After last year’s draft, SB Nation surveyed 104 media mock drafts for accuracy. Among the top 10 players chosen, four mock drafts correctly had quarterback
going to the Bears. Eight had QB
going to Kansas City. Three had wide receiver going to the Chargers. Two had WR going to the Bengals. That’s two out of 104. Of 32 first-round picks, you know how many Kiper got right? Three. That’s about the same batting average as the Weekly World News got in 1992. (It missed on
swimming the English Channel and returning. But it sort of nailed it when it predicted the cast of “Beverly Hills 90210” reportedly would get a sex change. That undoubtedly inspired a plot line used later by “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”)
The average mock-draft batting average is .078 because the NFL Draft is a total crapshoot. It’s impossible to get more than a handful of picks right, but that hasn’t stopped the Mock Draft Industrial Complex from booming.
It used to be just Kiper and his hair making a yearly appearance on draft day.
Now every newspaper, magazine, website, podcast and lost Amazonian tribe is in on the act for months leading up to the draft.
It’s all harmless fun, but at some point you’d think consumers would say, “Wait a minute. These guys have about as much chance of getting it right as my poodle.” COMMENTARY
Your poodle and the other experts now have two weeks to call sources, read tea leaves, buy all of
private info from Facebook and come up with their final mocks before the April 26th draft.
My only prediction is that the Dolphins really will draft an alien lovechild and every other draft prediction you read will be wrong.
The first 2019 Alliance of American Football mock draft was released Saturday after the league announced
would coach the Orlando franchise.
Experts predict Orlando will take in the first round,
in the second round and
in the third round.
He was standing in the outfield before a game at Minnesota when a bald eagle the Twins had brought in for the national anthem swooped in, tried to land on him and eventually perched menacingly on Paxton’s shoulder.
Paxton played it cool until the bird’s handlers got to him.
They later explained that the bald eagle was confused and thought Paxton was
“Dancing With the Stars” announced that
will be one of the celebrities competing in this year’s allathlete edition. Police have advised
to turn down ABC’s invitation to join the show.
In related news, 46 mock-draft experts predicted would win this year’s competition.
Bear Bryant’s great-grandson and a four-star QB recruit, committed to Alabama last week, choosing the Crimson Tide over LSU, Notre Dame, USC and Michigan. In related news,
great-grandson was tossed out of kindergarten for illegally recruiting a 9-year-old to his Nerf basketball team.
The National Enquirer does not have an NFL mock draft, but it did predict and are going to get married. They will then exchange names and become A-Lo and J-Rod.
Correction: does not have a greatgrandson. And Pitino denies ever having a romantic encounter with an alien or