Ask Amy: DNA test reveals brother has an adult daughter.
Dear Amy: I was tested by a DNA service that notifies participants of DNA relatives and their calculated degree of kinship.
I was stunned to receive notice that I have an adult niece I am unaware of. One of my brothers is her father.
The young woman identified as my niece has not reached out to me and I believe it is important to respect her privacy, even though I think she knows from the DNA results and social media who her father is.
I am steeling myself to keep this information secret and leave it to my niece to contact her father if she wishes. Your advice? — Worried
Dear Worried: You should contact your brother privately and tell him about this match. You are simply giving him a heads-up, and I would imagine that he would appreciate this, even if at the time, he is too shocked — or bewildered — to express this to you.
Dear Amy: The family farm recently came up for sale. My husband and I were the only family members in a position to buy it, and we were excited to do so.
Decades of neglect have left the buildings in disrepair. Extended family living next door were allowed free run of the place by the previous generation. They have contributed to its current condition.
My husband and I want to return the property to its former glory. We have made clear to the next-door relatives that things will be changing.We are given a guilt trip for not giving a free pass to “family.”
Short of reporting them to the cops for trespassing, which would sever family ties, what can we do? — Fed Up on the Family Farm
Dear Fed Up: You and your husband should make a personal visit to this household -- or invite them to yours. Speak to the parents and the teen children together.
Revisit the rules you have put in place, which they have already agreed to. Ask them if they understand these agreed-upon restrictions, and if they have any questions.
Some judicious fencing and posted signs might emphasize the boundary. The next time they overstep, you should have your lawyer write them a letter, reminding them of these rules. If they continue to violate these reasonable boundaries then yes, you may have to call the authorities.