Co-worker’s unwelcome kiss crosses line.

Dear Amy: I am 31 years old. I have an older male co-worker who I feel violated me recently.

He came to my home to deliver something, and proceeded to kiss me on the lips.

I was pushing his arms back, but the hint was not taken. It did not go any further, and he left like nothing happened.

I feel completely violated, betrayed and shattered. I have been polite and friendly with him, as I am with all my co-workers. He hugs many people at work, including me every day -- with a kiss on the cheek.

We talk every now and then about our personal lives. He is married and I am dating someone.

Now a line has been crossed, and I'm thinking: Did the personal conversations, hugs and kiss on the cheek that I allowed, make him think this was OK?

I absolutely do not want to report him. He is a well-respected man and I don't want to be the one to bring this up.

I hate the feeling that I can tell no one, not even my boyfriend, because he will want to pursue actions against him. So not only do I feel hurt and violated, but I feel alone.

I know you will say this isn't my fault, but maybe allowing the daily hugs at work made it seem OK to him.

Dear Locked in Silence: Just because you didn't forcefully stop your co-worker from hugging and kissing you on the cheek, doesn't mean that you invited it. Not only have women been socialized that it is somehow rude to reject unwanted physical contact, if he is your superior at work, you may feel that there would be professional consequences to you rejecting him, or speaking up.

Given your personal history, I can understand why you reflexively blame yourself for this violation, which makes it even more of a violation. Because now this person has not only forced a kiss, but he has also taken your voice.

When you pushed his arms back, you physically resisted this -and good for you! This guy obviously feels like he has the right to physically enter people's personal space and basically do what he feels like doing.

You should send him an email, saying, "It is not necessary for you to touch, hug or kiss me in order for us to work together. When you came to my home on a workrelated matter and kissed me on the lips, you went too far. Don't ever touch me again."