How to politely decline invitation to ‘high tea’

only drink a lot of tea, and it will not be conspicuous if you skip the food. She asks your indulgence for the third point. That is that the event you’re describing isn’t “high tea”; it’s “afternoon tea” or just “tea.” “High tea,” also known as “nursery tea,” is an informal supper taken in place of dinner. “Authentic high tea fare” is potted meat and other things you wouldn’t eat. The misnomer, common in America, probably arises from commercial establishments wanting to make their offerings seem grander and mistakenly believing the “high” has something to do with high society. about something like this gets me labeled a hater with rude remarks about “wait till you have children!” Such behaviors affect other aspects of society now and later.

You know what else is ruining society? Freelance critics who go about examining the behavior of people who are minding their own business and delivering unrequested criticism. If Miss Manners did that — and she never criticizes unless appealed to, as you’ve done — she’d rate your behavior below theirs.

We’d like to put something on the invitation for my daughter’s wedding that alcohol will be served, but that we want our guests to be smart and not drink and drive. What would be the best way to word this?

Probably “There’ll be free liquor, but don’t get drunk.” Miss Manners asks you to refrain from such pre-emptive scolding.