Male friend constantly confronted with his privilege

Dear Amy: I am a male with a female co-worker, "Danica." I like Danica. We have a similar sense of humor, and I get the sense that she wants to be better friends.

However, she has a strong (and unwarranted) tendency to see injustice, racism, sexism and homophobia in innocuous interactions.

She sees harassment, condescension and coercion where there isn't any.

While I'm mostly aligned with her political views, she thinks that by me denying her unwarranted claims of sexism around every corner, I am claiming victimhood because my "privilege" is being questioned.

I feel like we could be really good friends, except I feel she sees innocuous events through the lens of what some people might describe as a "social justice warrior."

How can I address my issue with her, without her claiming I'm just being sexist?

Dear Frustrated: While I'm tempted to advise you to say, "Oh, Danica, you're so cute when you're angry..." I don't think I can help you to best this social justice warrior, because no matter how you respond, she can always accuse you of using your "privilege" to dominate her. So query her about her own intolerance.

She needs to be given the opportunity to exercise the kind of tolerance that she would no doubt champion, in a different context.

Dear Amy: "Elephant in the Room" has a "long-term bingeeating disorder" and is worried that people who haven't seen her in a long time will be shocked and or rude when they see her weight gain.

She is using her "disorder" as an excuse for eating whatever and whenever she wants.

I think your advice should have been to lay off the pizza, get off the couch and see a nutritionist.

Dear Everyone: This reader wasn't asking me for advice about how to tackle her obesity. So why would I offer it?

One frustration of being overweight is how people often reduce the issue to being basically fat and lazy. But obesity is an affliction that is obvious to everyone, because it is carried on the outside. Being a jerk is an affliction that is more easily hidden, until it reveals itself.