Suicides — how you can help before it’s too late
When Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade took their own lives, their deaths made headlines. Less noticed were new statistics that reveal an increase of more than 25 percent in suicides by Americans from 1999 to 2016. To help understand the need for prevention, and how to help, the Orlando Sentinel Editorial Board sought out Charlotte Melton, the vice president of the Mental Health Association of Central Florida. For a complete transcript go to OrlandoSentinel.com/Opinion.
Kate Spade’s image reflected whimsy and optimism; Anthony Bourdain’s daring and confidence. When people such as those commit suicide, how does that affect how the rest of us deal with our emotions? When we lose someone to suicide, we are often left with a lot of questions. Even if there is a note left for loved ones, we question what we missed and what we could have done. There are many circumstances that can build up to the psychological pain that inspires thoughts of suicide. The strong characteristics you highlighted continue the questions. Suicide is not a sign of a weak person; suicide comes from a deep pain. When the pain overwhelms people’s perspective, they lose sight of other options. That hopelessness marches them toward the only option they can see.
What do those new statistics say about our social bonds and the American community? Suicide spans the globe. There are many different cultural and religious perspectives on suicide that influence rates region to region, but no population is immune. Psychological pain can be debilitating. If we are open to being a part of a solution, we can and will save lives.
The connections people can create via social media that weren’t available in years past can be a part of this solution. Facebook and other social-networking platforms have integrated ways to respond to suicidal posts, even if friends are across the country. If you report the post for suicidal content, Facebook will reach out privately to that user and offer support. There can be challenges with the impact social media has on our feelings of self-worth, but it can also offer a response previously unavailable.
What can we do when loved ones or friends are severely depressed? When we are left with hindsight, we are powerless to make a difference. I say that not to frustrate but to motivate. We have a chance to help our loved ones before it’s too late.
Take all signs of suicide seriously. Conversations about suicide can be awkward and kind of scary, but the alternative of missing our chance is much worse. If you notice someone is making direct or indirect comments about not being around anymore, giving away treasured items, increased or persistent substance use, he or she may be considering suicide. When you see these indicators or even just have a gut feeling that worries you, please talk to the person in pain. Ask how he or she is doing, and be willing to listen. Asking directly if someone is considering suicide or has a plan to end life has the greatest likelihood of getting a direct answer. If someone is reluctant to talk, be persistent. Thankfully, not everyone who is depressed is considering suicide. By asking the suicide question, you can see if your concern is needed. Either way, a counselor can help us develop ways to combat depression and thoughts of suicide.
Some people hesitate before asking the suicide question because they’re concerned that they won’t have the answers their loved ones need. We don’t have to be the whole solution, just part of the team. We can connect them to the suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255). We can connect them to a counselor or suicide-support group by calling an agency like ours with a referral service. Most important, we can tell them that we care — tell them that they matter and we wouldn’t be better off without them. Offer any sliver of hope you can. People at a high risk of suicide see ending their lives as the only viable option. Through the support of friends, family and clinical practitioners opening their perspective to other options, hope can grow. Hope saves lives.
Is suicide more than a mental-health issue? Where should the focus be for suicide-prevention efforts? Depression is one of the precipitating conditions for suicidal thoughts. To clarify, depression can come from many life circumstances; it doesn’t have to be a longstanding condition of clinical depression. Significant loss can also trigger feelings of deep pain. In addition to the deep psychological pain, two other factors connect to create the lethal triad of circumstances. Those two other factors are substance use and access to the means to end life. If someone has thoughts of suicide, the immediate focus should be helping to keep him or her away from substance use and the means to enact a plan. Suicidal thoughts can impact anyone. Suicide-prevention efforts that focus on educating the community and making crisis services available are the current strategy. One such program is QPR (question persuade refer) offering techniques to the community like CPR so that the average person can intervene in a crisis.
The latest U.S. data suggest that in 54 percent of completed suicides, there were no known mental-health conditions. What are other contributing factors? Alcohol and substance use are significant contributing factors for suicide. Financial stress and enduring economic strain are as well. Stressors like that wear us down. The loss of a loved one, a job or the loss of an opportunity can also breed hopelessness and thoughts of escaping. Anything that can make us feel trapped can lead someone to thinking about an escape. Stress and pain can override our instincts to survive and one can begin to view suicide as a release. For example, in the last economic crash, there was an increase in suicide attempts. If connected to services during stress and loss, suicidal thoughts can be addressed before they become a plan for suicide or an attempt.