Alcoholic friend should abstain from camping trips

Dear Amy: I have a friend whom I have known since high school. He has recently been in recovery for drinking. A group of friends (including my friend in recovery) has been going on two camping trips a year together.

I have asked everyone that attends our camping trip to make this next trip alcohol-free.

I explained to them that I know he will have to deal with friends drinking in front of him eventually, but that it is too soon.

The reaction from some of the group is that I am being unreasonable and I should not be dictating what takes place on the camping trip. recovery. He is. I applaud your supportive attitude and desire to help him through this, but the simple fact is that he should probably not attend the camping trip this cycle. It is probably too soon in his recovery for him to leave town and attend an event that will supply all sorts of triggers for him.

You cannot count on others abstaining from alcohol, and -- if they are more attached to their relationship to alcohol than their relationship with him -- they will choose to drink.

The most responsible thing is to tell your recovering friend that you have tried, but cannot guarantee that others will not drink. Encourage him to connect with his sponsor and perhaps attend support meetings instead of camping, but (of course) leave the final decision up to him.

Dear Amy: How sad that the writer of "Ball Catcher in Illinois" is bothered because kids step on their lawn.

They should be happy the kids are outside and not glued to video screens. Wouldn't it be great for all involved for a relationship to form between neighbors? Maybe someday the writer will need help with something and the kids or their families could help out.

Ball Catcher should consider the gift of being neighborly!

Dear Neighbor: Several people admonished me for not encouraging "Ball Catcher" to be a better and more involved neighbor. I was too focused on the idea that the kids weren't aware of, or respecting, boundaries.