Father’s Day, finally: Couple adopt baby
The call surprised the couple. It had only been four months since Matt and Andrew had signed up with an adoption agency, and they were told the process could take up to two years.
But here she was, a tiny baby girl, born 16 weeks early, waiting for them at Winnie Palmer Hospital. They booked the first flight to Orlando.
“When we got the call, there was something that tugged at us, and it was hard to ignore,” Matt said. “We had the opportunity to assess our options, but our minds were already made up.”
So in late March, there they were, looking at a tiny preemie, 12 inches long, 1 pound and 7 ounces. They named her Carey Hill. And they haven’t left her side at Winnie Palmer since putting their lives in Washington, D.C., on hold.
They didn’t want to use their last names because the
adoption won’t be finalized until later this year.
It’s a Father’s Day made even more special for the couple because it’s Pride Month, and because their baby was born just a few blocks from the Pulse nightclub. They have tacked a rainbow flag on Carey Hill’s crib.
“I remember waking up to the news of the shooting,” said Andrew, 31. “We sometimes go to Target near Pulse and walk by there and pay our respect and pray for everyone. It’s a lot of progress left to be made on that front.”
Carey Hill is on the extreme side of premature babies. But lucky for her, she was born at one of the few hospitals in the nation that cares for preemies born as early as 22 weeks.
Advances in technology and medicine help save babies who are born as early as 18 weeks. But it takes a team of specialists to help these tiny babies survive and thrive, and only a few hospitals in the nation have taken on the challenge.
To care for babies at such early stages of life “takes a lot of determination, time and commitment,” said Dr. Gregor Alexander, a neonatologist at Winnie Palmer Hospital, which houses one of the largest neonatal intensive care units in the nation. “And I think we’ve developed a protocol that can be an example for other hospitals.”
He helped establish the Tiny Baby Initiative at Winnie Palmer Hospital two years ago. After talking to colleagues at the University of Iowa, he assembled a team of doctors, nurses, nutritionists, respiratory, occupational and physical therapists and others to establish processes and protocols to save babies that are born as early as 22 weeks’ gestation, improving their survival rate by as much as 70 percent.
Also, “having the parents touch the baby and talk to the baby, and eventually hold the baby has a great impact on the survival of the baby,” said Alexander.
Matt and Andrew have not let the team of doctors down.
“I have witnessed a lot of parents, but they’re one of the top fathers from my point of view and the staff’s,” Alexander said. “They’ve dedicated entire weeks and months to be next to Carey Hill and having them there and providing her with physical contact and interaction and being part of making decisions has been very important.”
The couple got married in 2014. They always knew they wanted a family, and last year they finally decided to start the adoption process.
They broke the good news to their parents by giving them a book titled “And Tango Makes Three.” The book is the story of two male penguins at the Central Park Zoo who want a family and with the help of a zookeeper, they get a baby of their own.
They talked to other adoptive parents. They asked a lot of questions — “there are no dumb questions,” said Matt — and they remained open and patient.
And four months after signing up with an adoption agency and four days after she was born, Matt and Andrew met Carey Hill.
“We hope that this story can help to educate people, gay couples, straight couples, that adoption is a possibility,” said Matt. “It’s hard, there are a lot of stages you have to go through, but it’s all well worth it.”
Their adoption is open, so Carey Hill’s birth mom — who interviewed Matt and Andrew before giving up her parental rights — stops by, too, and she’s planning to stay involved in her life.
Matt and Andrew have been staying at Ronald McDonald House across the street from the hospital. Andrew works at a nonprofit and has to travel for his job but Matt, who has a consulting job, has been staying here and working remotely.
Carey Hill is 17 inches long now and weighs 5 1⁄2 pounds. Alexander said at 32 weeks’ gestation she’s doing great.
“This is what life is all about,” he said.
Next month, when she’s discharged from the hospital around her due date, she’ll move back to Washington, D.C., where her parents set up the nursery — before they knew they would be dads this year.
“Her eyes and smile make you full of joy. Her little feet are awesome. Even her little hiccups are amazing,” said Matt. “But what we love most about her is that she’s our family. We’re both moved by that simple fact.”