Canine care has family feuding like cats and dogs

Dear Amy: My son and his family recently took a two-week trip. I volunteered to watch their three large dogs in my small, 900-square-foot home while they were away.

One week after their return, I then asked them to watch my (one) dog for three days.

They said, "We can't have him here because he chases our cat."

Amy, they live on a one-acre property with lots of space for kitty to escape!

My daughter-in-law said she was willing to stay at my house after work to care for my dog, but that meant that my dog would be alone all day.

My son is a stay-at-home dad, so someone is always home there.

I'm so hurt. My son says my thinking is skewed, and that his wife was trying to make everyone happy. It is her cat.

I am not happy, because it feels like my daughter-in-law's cat is more important than my dog and me.

I gave them a $200,000 break on the house they bought from me.

I paid for a new roof and $13,000 worth of windows.

I have been very helpful to them, and yet they can't do this one thing I ask of them?! Is my thinking skewed?

Dear Upset: Yes, your daughterin-law's cat is probably more important than your dog -- to her -just as your dog is obviously more important than her cat -- to you.

Have you ever had a cat killed by a dog? (I have.) In the family chain of pet importance, is one cat somehow less important than one dog?

On the one hand, I agree that this family should turn themselves inside out to try to help you, because you taking on their three dogs for two weeks was a huge and heavy lift (where was the cat during this time?). On the other hand, your daughter-in-law seems to be trying very hard to reciprocate, by offering to visit, feed and walk your dog after work (of course, she or your son would have to do this in the morning too).

You are conflating many huge financial gifts and favors you have done for this family with their inability (or unwillingness) to take care of your dog under the conditions you want.

If you conveyed this to them, they might be willing to put their cat into a kennel for three days so your dog can roam free on their property.

If you don't want to financially help this family, then stop.