Single student mom is in a New York state of mind
Dear Amy: I am a single mom to a 14-month-old child. I'm also a college student, currently residing in an apartment attached to my dad's house. I am thankful to be living rent-free, but I'm miserable.
I recently came back from a vacation to New York City and, as always, I loved it! But I get depressed every time I come home. I have dreams of moving there.
There is a guy there who works for the NYPD, who I see every time I visit. I'm not sure if my feelings for him are infatuation, or true love. I'm unsure of how he feels about me.
It seems like we only truly connect when I'm physically in NYC, versus being home (I live in a southern state).
Now I'm feeling like I should quit school, find a well-paying job (such as fire or police support services or communication technology), and move to New York.
I honestly believe I'm only in school to please my "old-fashioned" father, who seems to believe college is the only way.
I want to be able to provide for my child and pursue my dream of moving to New York. School just seems to be stunting my progress.
Should I quit school to a find a stable and secure job in New York? — NY State of Mind
Dear State of Mind: New York City can cast a magical spell, but the reality of living there is radically different than visiting. It's definitely true that (as the song goes) "...If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere," but many people don't actually make it in New York. No one writes songs about that.
And that magical "well-paying job" that you can secure in New York without a college degree?
According to a detailed analysis compiled by MIT (livingwage.MIT.edu), to make a "living wage" in New York City -- for one adult and one child -- you would have to earn $62,192/year (before taxes).
Starting salary for a police dispatcher in New York City is $36,611.
For you, life in New York City would mean no more free rent (housing in New York is estimated at $20,000/year). Transportation, food, childcare and utilities are also very expensive.
Additionally, if you moved, you would sacrifice your family's financial, emotional and practical support. You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@ amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.