The flip side of fostering: Embrace the entire family
I became a mother at 29. Within six years, I had 16 children. Today, only one calls me “Mommy” every day, but the other 15 hold special places in my heart and prayers. I’m a foster parent. But most important, I am a mom, and I understand the frustration and anguish of mothers whose children are in foster care. These families made a mistake and deeply want to bring their children back home safely. They need empathy and encouragement.
As a foster mom, my heart has room for my children’s parents as well. I love these kids — and I know their parents do, too.
For the majority of kids — more than 70 percent — neglect, not abuse, brought them into foster care. Their parents were overwhelmed with personal battles to provide the care their kids needed, but with the right support, many overcome those challenges.
I vividly remember sitting in my baby’s room, carefully opening several bags his mother delicately packed. Baby wash, diaper cream, little blue and red cars. Carefully folded clothes. A thoughtful tote filled with mac and cheese, cinnamon buns, Life cereal — what I later learned were his favorite foods. I cried. I cried for this mother, this woman who clearly loved her child, who wanted to make sure he had the familiarity of home. I prayed for this mother.
I prayed she would find strength, courage and determination to conquer her battles and bring her baby back home.
I cried for this baby. This baby who had already known turmoil and instability, yet was bursting with joy. This baby who had so much love — from two families — yet would live in uncertainty for a little while. Fostering is hard. Loving another mother’s child — it’s easy. Saying goodbye — every time brings tears.
But there’s hope mixed with the sadness. Hope that, because you chose to care, because you chose to love the entire family, that child will have peace. That family will have strength. And that child will know nothing other than love and acceptance.
Safe to say, I’ll be doing this for a while. Not for me, but for Central Florida’s children — their families.
With more than 20,000 Florida kids in foster care, there will always be a need.