Newly discovered sister rocks world of daddy’s girl

Dear Amy: Last year I was "found" by a biological halfsister. She has spent her life searching for her biological father.

Her dad turned out to be my dad.

My parents were so in love, raised five kids and had a wonderful marriage. They have both died, and I'm convinced after talking to family members that no one knew about this sister.

I have done everything I can to integrate her into our family. However, I didn't ask her into my life.

I would be happier if I never knew about her!

I feel good about all I've done for her, and I would never tell her, but I am so angry!

This truly rocked my world. My dad was my hero, and she knocked him off my pedestal! Not fair!

She is a wonderful woman, (completely opposite of my sister I never got along with), but I am having an internal fight to accept this person into my head as my sister.

And I don't know how to get over my resentment of this intrusion into my life. I want my perfect dad back!

Dear Upset: I have yet to encounter a perfect person, or a perfect parent. And yet it is every parent's dream to remain perfect in the eyes of their children.

I wonder if you have avenues yet to explore that might provide answers. (For instance, was your father ever a sperm donor?)

If your father had a onenight stand, or even if he was unfaithful to your mother (secretly, or with her knowledge), does this diminish the love they felt for each other -- and for you and your siblings?

Does knowing your father might have been flawed make him less of a father to you? Your parents chose to be -- and stay -- together. That's a good thing.

This woman's sudden presence in your life has rocked you, and you have behaved generously and admirably (what a credit to your parents!).

But I hope you don't feel forced to have a relationship you aren't ready to have. You have every right to take this at your own pace. Talking with a therapist would help you to express, and accept, your "Not fair!" feelings.