This other woman wants to be the only woman

Dear Amy: I am a 50-year-old married woman with two boys. I have been married to "Randall" for 27 years.

We have a good life, but it is deficient in passion.

Six years ago, I fell in love with "Sam," a married man (who also has two boys with his long-in-thetooth wife).

Our long-distance affair lasted five glorious years until his wife found pictures of us. At her insistence, Sam reluctantly ended the affair and is remaining with her because it would "destroy her" if he left.

But he confessed to me that his passion for me endures and admitted that sex with me was the best he's ever had.

In the year since breaking up, I cannot stop thinking of Sam. I am sure he is dreaming of me.

How can I convince Sam that life is too short to stay with a woman he doesn't really love, and that he and I are meant to be together?

Dear Inconsolable: I find it hard to focus on your actual question, because a white-hot ball of rage seems to have lodged behind my eyes.

Your selfishness is astounding. Your husband deserves to know that during the last several years he has spent being "a great provider" for his family, you have chosen to honor his efforts by lying and cheating. Granted you no doubt would like for him to continue to provide, but I hope he wakes up and smells the deceit.

You are living a lie with one man, and pining for another. I hope you will find other, more worthwhile ways to define yourself. Life is too short!

Sex and passion are on one side of the relationship coin, and "love" is on the other. Sex and passion can be fickle and fade, but real love endures. Sam might actually love his wife. Leave him alone.

Dear Amy: "Frustrated" was facing the heartbreak of a daughter with addiction.

My wife and I dealt with the exact same thing, and we were extremely angry, sad and frustrated.

After years in and out of recovery, our daughter overdosed and could not be revived. I wish we had been more understanding.

Dear Grieving: Your reactions were human. So is your loss and grief. Many families are experiencing this right now, and it is heartbreaking.