Orlando Sentinel

Things women say to other women

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My wife, Denise, says things to her friends that I never say to mine.

“Nice top.”

They actually say that to each other.

My wife and her friends put on a fashion show for each other showing off new clothes. She does that for me and I have to admit I like it, but the nice top thing…

“I don’t leave the house without lipstick or makeup.”

Granted there are women who don’t do all that but there are many who preach to some section of that choir. My sister said when she was younger she stopped by Denise’s apartment and found her vacuuming in full makeup. That’s my glamour girl. Guys I know don’t think that way. And they definitely don’t say things like that to each other.

Next time you go out, take a close look at the guys. Unshaven, goofy shoes, goofier clothes. Women are cats, men are dogs. My sister has always said, “Dogs will be dogs and men will be dogs.” But I think she was talking about something else. “You smell good.”

I’ve heard this, as well, said by my wife to one of her friends. On the one hand it’s an innocent way to find a new scent but if a guy says that to another guy you might get the look. Gotta be honest; I have said that to a fella. It’s how you say it that counts. But as a rule it’s not in my everyday conversati­on.

“Love your hair.” Women say this all the time. I guess since they go to the hairdresse­r, use curlers, curling irons, it’s okay to say things like this. Guys go to barbershop­s. The most you’ll hear is, “You got a haircut.” That’s pretty much it. “I used to wear a nine in an open-toed sandal.”

Truth is I don’t know where to go with this. I don’t know if it falls under the category of things women say that guys don’t or the “I shouldn’t have heard that’ category.

Okay, up I go on my soap box.

I’m married and have been for a while. You’ve heard the saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” Also, to quote Kenny Rogers, “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.”

Pick your spots my friend.

And when you hear your lady say things like these? My advice is to nod your head and to keep moving.

The author, a former weatherman and anchor at CBS and WKMG, is a public speaker, author and blogger. He lives in Winter Springs.

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By Mark McEwen

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