Spa patron says she was singled out for her size
After Grauer first entered the salon and paid the initial fee, she went back to the part of the salon where she could schedule the scrub treatment. It was there that an employee kept telling her “no,” Grauer said. She then noticed a sign she hadn’t seen before near the desk, far from the front entrance, which said customers must weigh less than 230 pounds.
Grauer, 54, said she’s been working on improving her health in the past year and has lost 60 pounds, but still is above the limit.
“She tried to tell me the table wasn’t strong enough,” Grauer said. “I said, ‘no, no, I’ve had this done here before.’ ” A manager then told her it was because the oil would make the service too slippery, but that didn’t explain why weight or gender matters, Grauer said. “He just kept saying we have a problem with heavy women.”
Eventually, after feeling embarrassed in front of other patrons, Grauer got a refund, left the salon and drove home.
“I’ve been working so hard on my self-image and helping myself to get healthy,” she said. “I came here to relax and have a treat, and it’s been ruined.”
Lisa White, 33, of Chicago, saw the Facebook post and recalled a similar experience she had at the salon several years ago.
White brought her mother to the spa to use the common areas. In one part of the spa, patrons are nude. But in the other, they wear provided clothing — shorts and a medical scrublike top, White said.
White, a size 26 or 28, said she could not fit into the clothing and brought her own yoga pants and T-shirt, which she had done during a previous visit. White said she even was careful to bring cotton clothing free of synthetic materials.
An employee spotted her from across the spa and “screamed at me because I wasn’t wearing the correct outfit,” she said.
When White pointed out that the salon could provide larger sizes, the employee “exploded on me,” telling her the spa’s usual clientele is not overweight. “He said, ‘It’s not something we cater to.’ ”
“I had never had an experience like that where I was so blatantly discriminated against because of my size,” added White, who said she’s struggled with weight since high school.
She said she was embarrassed to talk about the incident until she saw Grauer’s post, in part because “I don’t think people talk about (weight discrimination) … unless you’ve been a larger person … or you know somebody who’s fat.”
“It’s still somewhat culturally acceptable,” said White, who said she’s become more comfortable in her size. Yet, “it’s still a shame thing in our culture.”
Risman said while she’s seen improvement in fat shaming, it’s often under the guise of health advice, and it’s still a problem.
With social pressure and conversation, Risman said there’s hope for further improvement. “We’ve seen lots of these kinds of negative norms decrease over time.”
“Women used to get thrown out of restaurants for wearing slacks,” she said. “It’s a matter of identifying what the problem is and creating a social critique of the problem.”
Social norms change all the time, she said. “It seems to me fat shaming should be one of those.”