DeCarlo, who helped comfort LGBTQ community after Pulse, dies at 57
Former leader of The Center resource facility remembered for positive spirit
Terry DeCarlo — the prominent, charismatic leader of the LGBTQ community who helped Orlando through the aftermath of the Pulse nightclub shooting — died late Monday of cancer, his husband announced Tuesday. He was 57.
“It is with the heaviest of hearts that I have to post this,” Billy Huelsman wrote on DeCarlo’s Facebook and Twitter accounts. “But I need to let everyone know I lost the love of my life last night. The cancer was just too aggressive for treatment.”
DeCarlo helped lead The Center, a resource for Central Florida’s LGBTQ community, for four years, leaving in June 2018 for South Florida. He was diagnosed last summer with Stage 4 facial cancer that began at the roof of his mouth and grew toward his skull.
In October, he underwent a 10½ hour surgery to remove the tumor and rebuild his face and jaw. The surgery went well, he said afterward, and though chemotherapy and radiation left him drained and sickly, he continued to make occasional public appearances.
“I think this is so shocking because, even though I knew what he was struggling with, he just brought this positive spirit everywhere he went,” said Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida, the statewide lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization. “He always kept a sense of humor
and positive outlook. If anyone could have beaten the odds, it was Terry. … He made a difference wherever he planted his flag.”
Orlando City Commissioner Patty Sheehan, who worked closely with DeCarlo after the Pulse shooting, called his death “a huge loss.”
“He was my rock and my friend — an absolutely lovely man who lived every moment to the fullest,” she said. “When Pulse happened, there was no blueprint to navigate the aftermath of a mass shooting, but Terry opened The Center at 7:30 that Sunday morning and already had grief counselors ready. He was out there on the street directing people to the resources of The Center.”
If there was an obstacle, DeCarlo always seemed to find a creative path around it, Sheehan said. In the days before same-sex marriage was legal, for instance, DeCarlo became an ordained minister to perform wedding ceremonies.
And after the cancer surgery left his face swollen and scarred, he wore an eye patch and a series of humorous masks when he went out in public.
“He would still go out wearing some absolutely fabulous outfit and just go have fun,” Sheehan said. “He never gave up. I think we all thought he would get through it because he was such a force.”
Brandon Wolf, a Pulse survivor who now works for Equality Florida, said Orlando has “lost a hero.”
“For years, Terry DeCarlo selflessly gave to our community and lifted up LGBTQ Floridians. And after Pulse, he stepped in to help hold us all together,” he said. “Terry was one of the most influential people in inspiring love and strength and unity.”
DeCarlo worked most of his life in the nonprofit sector — including serving as an early organizer for Equality Florida. He also led efforts to provide health care, counseling and shelter for the LGBTQ community and for children with HIV/ AIDS.
As word of his death spread on Tuesday, hundreds posted tributes to DeCarlo on social media.
“My heart is broken with the news …” Rep. Carlos Guillermo Smith posted on Twitter. “Terry was a lifelong advocate for LGBTQ Floridians and he led Orlando through the aftermath of Pulse when we needed him most. This is a terrible loss for our community. Sending strength to his husband, Bill.”
The onePULSE Foundation, which is building a Pulse memorial and museum, issued a statement of condolences. “We are heartbroken by the passing of our dear friend Terry DeCarlo,” it said. “Terry was a passionate advocate for Florida’s LGBTQ community and leaves behind a powerful legacy. We are forever grateful to him for helping our community heal and move forward following the Pulse nightclub tragedy.”
The Center lowered its flags in DeCarlo’s honor.
There was no immediate mention of funeral services, but Sheehan said she planned to find a way for the city to pay tribute.
“For years, Terry DeCarlo selflessly gave to our community and lifted up LGBTQ Floridians. And after Pulse, he stepped in to help hold us all together.” Brandon Wolf, a Pulse survivor who now works for Equality Florida