Sharing decor decisions
rooms if they will each have more influence on one other room, Baird says. One person might choose darker colors for a home library, for instance, while another can use bright, bold colors for their home office or hobby space. The main rooms can serve as a bridge, connecting those styles together more smoothly.
Martin agrees: “I try not to create a ‘his space’ or a ‘her space’ in favor of creating spaces that flow nicely and have continuity.”
Some couples opt to mix their contrasting tastes throughout their home, but Baird says creating an “eclectic” room that mashes up two different decorating styles can be difficult. “People bandy around the word eclectic, but it really is a mishmosh,” she says. “It’s very rare to see a room or a home that I would call eclectic that is well done.”
Gerson says people often are in a rush to completely decorate a room and fill every space. That can lead you to compromises that neither of you like, she says. Don’t be afraid to leave a bit of empty space until you discover the right piece to put there.
“It’s OK if you have a fabulous sofa and a great coffee table and a rug,” Gerson says, to then wait until you stumble upon a wonderful chair you both like that can complete the room.
Time also makes the shared decorating process easier: “I find that the longer a couple has lived together or been married, the more likely they are to have the same design objectives,” Martin says. “They’re on the same page, especially older couples.”
And with enough communication and patience, Baird says, most couples manage to decorate their homes without conflict.
“I’ve never had anyone get divorced,” she says, “until after we were done decorating.”