Coronavirus? Waffle House has no plans to close (for now)

An eerie silence has descended on Walt Disney World and Universal Orlando. If that sounds like the Apocalypse, take a quick trip up Kirkman Road and feast your ears.

“Got two hash browns, scattered!”

That’s the call of a Waffle House manager directing her troops. It may sound like a mere 1,100-calorie order crispy deliciousness, but it signifies a lot more.

If you’re despairing over civilization going dark over coronavirus, take heart. Waffle House is keeping the light on for you.

“We have no plans to close,” spokesperson Njeri Boss said.

The government could change that any day. But for now, Waffle House staying open is comfort food for worried souls.

The chain’s slogan is “Good Food Fast,” but it ought to take the unofficial motto of the U.S. Postal Service.

“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of coronavirus stays these couriers from swift completion of their appointed hash brown orders.”

The chain prides itself on keeping its 1,500 restaurants open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. That’s harder than finding a good $11 T-bone.

Waffle House pulls it off thanks to a business operation that’s far more sophisticated than its menu. If a natural disaster hits, a “jump teams” swoop in to restore things.

Florida’s panhandle is still recovering from Hurricane Michael. But when the Category 5 hurricane hit in October of 2018, all but three Waffle Houses were back in business within a few days.

That makes Waffle House more than a place to eat. In times of despair, those glowing yellow signs are beacons of normalcy, letting citizens know life will go on.

Waffle House is so good at recovery procedures, the Federal Emergency Management Agency came up with the Waffle House Index. The informal metric indicates a storm’s effect and how much assistance that area will need. It has three levels:

Green means Waffle Houses are fully operational.

Yellow means they are serving a limited menu and food supplies may be low.

Red means Waffle Houses are closed. Time to panic.

The coronavirus is not weather, but it’s disastrous enough to have activated FEMA.

So far, so good.

“We’re in the green zone,” Annie Oddo said.

She was sitting at the counter of Waffle House No. 318, about a half-mile from the entrance to Universal. The five stools at the counter were occupied, and a dozen or booths were jammed.

If you want self-isolation, don’t go to a Waffle House.

“What can you do?” Oddo mused. “I’m not going to walk around panicking.”

She did have a pack of hand wipes next to her plate of bacon and eggs, and she’d wiped down everything she touched.

Waffle House has removed condiment bottles from tabletops, so customers must request ketchup or mustard. Otherwise, it’s business as usual.

And what a business it is. In the narrow passage between the grill and the counter, nine people somehow manage to cook, serve, wash dishes, keep smiling and never collide.

There’s a steady symphony of clanging dishes, sizzling hash browns, screaming orders and crying babies.

The 75-decibel is music to ears.

“Yeah, sometimes I eat here three times a day,” Khorian Moore said. “The food is good, the employees are good and the customers are great.”

There are plenty of them. Waffle House has cooked 877 million waffles since opening in 1955. It claims to have served more T-Bone steaks than any restaurant.

“Oh, yeah,” customer Barbara Jones said, “and they’re good steaks.”

Especially at $11, including a salad, hash browns and Texas toast.

Whatever was ordered at store no. 319, the Waffle House soundtrack ended on the same note.

“Everything was good?” the cashier asked. “You have a beautiful day.”

It was a good way to start another uncertain coronaday.

Culinary giants Italy and France have shut down restaurants. They don’t have Waffle Houses. But now cities in the U.S. are ordering restaurants to close.

Orlando is still in the green zone, but red could be on the horizon.

“We will continue to evaluate these actions and adjust based upon further guidance from the CDC and local health departments,” read a statement from Waffle House.

If Gov. DeSantis orders all restaurants in Florida to close, one chain should get a waiver. Waffle House isn’t just dishing out hash browns these days.

When you order a meal, it comes with a side order of hope. soundtrack diners’