Outdoor fire features are hot
COMMENTARY
We haven’t seen a worker in days.
The site is idle because “we’re waiting for an inspection,” which is contractor code for “we can’t get back to your job right now.”
The alleged inspection is for the gas line that will allegedly fuel, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, the yard’s centerpiece: a 48-inch round cement fire bowl that my husband and I envision ourselves sitting around with friends and family, looking at stars and making s’mores — in our wheelchairs while wearing bibs.
“Our yard will never be finished,” I whine to my husband, DC.
“We’re not that far behind,” he says, trying to put the project in perspective.
“Getting new landscaping is like being pregnant,” I say to anyone who will listen. (No one). “You’re stretched to your breaking point, have chronic heartburn, and the only thing that keeps you going is knowing that no pregnancy lasts forever, though you think yours might be the first.”
“Your backyard is going to rock,” our landscape contractor keeps telling me. “That fire feature is going to be killer.”
As the contractor tries to pacify me, I try to pacify the neighbors, who are almost as fed up with the big dig as we are.
“What’s going on with your backyard?” they politely ask.
“We’re in a competition to be named the next Great Dust Bowl, and we’ve made it to the finals.”
Every day, the wind scoops up a layer of fresh dirt and coats the back of the house and patio with sand and grit. When the dogs go