Why my daughter and I worry about DeSantis prying into women’s health

I’ve learned a lot of things by being the father of a teenage girl.

I’ve learned how to use TikTok. I’ve learned songs I would never have heard otherwise, and exactly when and how I am “cringe.” Most important, I’ve learned the power of privacy.

I’ve bumped into the locked doors, heard the hushed phone conversations when I walk into the room and witnessed the telltale silence of a teenager who does not want to talk.

I may not always like it, but I understand and support her right to keep things to herself — to cultivate her persona and her world the way she sees fit.

I’ve also learned the joy of being invited into that world when she is ready to share.

This is why I was shocked by a recent proposal from a subcommittee of the Florida High School Athletic Association to mandate the collection of a child’s menstruation history from the physical evaluation forms handed out at schools. Thankfully, the full board voted against the proposed form after the board was deluged with outraged public comments.

Accounting for student athletes’ menstrual health is nothing new and in fact has been part of school sports forms for decades. However, the proposal to make them mandatory would have turned these forms into a tool to deny privacy to young women and target transgender and nonbinary kids who are already targets for people like Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.

The vote brought me some comfort, but I remain wary. Tracking young ciswomen’s menstrual cycles could be used to identify when someone may be pregnant, even before they know themselves. This could lead to a huge invasion of privacy, such as monitoring whether a pregnant student’s cycle returned, and thus, the pregnancy had been terminated. Equally horrifying, in place of asking children about their menstrual histories, the FHSAA has changed the question about a student’s sex to ask for “sex assigned at birth.” It’s good news that this information will stay with a student’s doctor and not, as with the recently struckdown menstruation question, shared with their school, but it does present a risk.

If this information got into the wrong hands, it could be used to isolate trans kids and push them into the spotlight of political theater, which has been long bent on making school a battleground instead of a safe and comfortable environment where children can learn and thrive.

Perhaps in a vacuum, this change would seem harmless.

But when you consider some of the steps extremist politicians like DeSantis have already taken, you must come at this with open eyes. One need only look to 2022 to see the trajectory of where this potential mandate is going.

Last June, DeSantis attacked LGBTQIA+ students with his “Don’t Say Gay or Trans” bill, which criminalizes the discussion of LGBTQIA+ issues or people at school. Now just imagine that. You’re a teacher connecting with your students about the Grammys and cannot even address Beyonce’s speech where she gave credit to the LGBTQIA+ community for creating an entire genre of music. Nor could you discuss the latest from award-winning actors like Laverne Cox or Michaela Jaé Rodriguez. This puts teachers in a terrible bind. On one hand, you further isolate these kids by being forcibly muzzled. On the other, just mentioning trans or gay people could put your job on the line. That is no accident.

We must open our eyes. And while the fight to keep girls’ menstruation history private in Florida seems over for now, the battle for the privacy of girls and women across the nation is raging. Last year, we saw the fall of Roe v. Wade: 50 years of settled legal precedent was undone by a conservative Supreme Court stripping away a woman’s right to choose. This same court then pontificated out loud about using the same reasoning to deny women contraceptives.

So no, I do not see this change as harmless. I see the potential it has to be part of a continued and sustained attack on the right of privacy for everyone who isn’t male and straight — an attack that has been waged for decades. To consider each instance separately and devoid of context and history is to bury our heads in the sand and succumb to the tempting but false notion that everyone and everything starts on a level playing field.

In the race for equality, we have routinely hamstrung women and the LGBTQIA+ community by adding obstacles and hurdles in their lanes, while others see only a smooth, flat surface ahead. But there are no children of lesser gods. No matter your gender identity or sexuality, you are deserving of your full humanity and the right to keep parts of that humanity to yourself until you are ready to share.

That is what I want for my daughter and all kids in Florida, and I will do everything I can to protect them and their right to share when they are ready.