Dr. Jill Biden? The dust-up diagnosis is sexism

How many doctors can dance on the head of a pin? I know, it’s supposed to be angels. But the medieval metaphor — which refers to wasting time debating trivial topics — suits this moment. A nation of nearly 330 million people hunkered down in voluntary “house arrest” have time on their hands to make mountains out of molehills.

But just who is making mountains anyway? The right says it’s the left, and the left claims it’s the right. In this case, the left is right.

It was conservatives — of the White male variety — who started the dust-storm over whether soon-to-be First Lady Jill Biden should drop the honorific of “Dr.” before her name.

I was going to say “First Lady in waiting Jill Biden” to be clever. But self- control got the better of me. The phrase could be construed as sexist.

See what I did there? It’s called self- editing. Part of being a writer is knowing what to say, but part of being an adult is knowing what not to say.

In an op- ed for the Wall

Street Journal, writer and author Joseph Epstein felt the need to scold Biden over how she identifies herself.

“Madame First Lady — Mrs. Biden — Jill — kiddo,” Epstein wrote. “Any chance you might drop the ‘Dr.’ before your name? ‘Dr. Jill Biden’ sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic.”

Kiddo, huh? Hard to imagine he would address a man like that.

Epstein, who has no graduate degree at all unless you count his “honorary” doctorate, belittles Biden because she is not a medical doctor but instead has a doctorate in education from the University of Delaware.

I get that, too. Delivering babies, performing surgeries, and treating COVID patients is mighty important work. Thank goodness, someone gave our heroic medical professionals the education necessary to do their jobs. Gee, I guess that means education is pretty important, too. Who knew?

Note that Epstein wrote that Biden’s use of the title “feels fraudulent.”

So basically, this is the professional world’s version of “stolen valor.” It’s like Jill Biden served in Vietnam and then claimed she was awarded a Silver Star when she really only received a Bronze Star.

And speaking of things that are “comic,” Epstein isn’t much of a comedian. Blasted by Biden staffers, academics and others, the writer pouted. Responding to a request for comment from CNN, Epstein wrote them in an email, “I thought mine a lightly humorous piece, but I fear there isn’t much humor in the world, especially among the politically correct.”

My kids remind me that I’m not funny, and my jokes are often inappropriate. Someone should do Epstein that favor.

Instead, all conservatives had to offer was enabling. Like when Wall Street Journal Editorial Page Editor Paul Gigot defended the piece by crying censorship and claiming that critics were playing the “gender card.”

As a girl dad twice over, I’m not teaching my daughters to play victim cards or complain about the hands they’re dealt. But because I wasn’t born yesterday, I know they’ll face obstacles that my son will never have to worry about. And so neither am I teaching my girls to be submissive and downplay their accomplishments so that mediocre men can feel superior.

The best part of “Dr.-gate” is not what it taught us about Epstein, but what it taught us about his defenders. From the school of “the coverup is worse than the crime,” they took a story about nothing and made it into something. And then when they were challenged, they claimed that their critics were making something out of nothing — and stoking a gender war.

But who fired the first shot? Epstein.

That’s a neat trick that conservative White men have turned into a science. They say something racist, and when we call them on it, suddenly we’re the bigots. One of them says something sexist — and the rest of the tribe defends it in the intellectual equivalent of a Proud Boys rally — and when we object, we’re the ones engaging in “identity politics.” Shame on us!

It’s like trying to grab smoke. It’s also inconsistent with the brand messaging that conservative and Republicans push on everyone else. You remember? The one where people have to stop making excuses or playing the victim and take responsibility for their actions.

I always liked that part of the rightwing message. Where did that go? You don’t need a doctorate — of any kind — to figure out the answer.