So how’s that working for you?
Dr. Phil, TV’s wayshower of healthy relationships, asks after listening to often angry and accusatory arguments between family members or friends, “How’s that working for you?”
We do tend to get ourselves into a tizzy these days over things like those who do/don’t wear masks, do/don’t appreciate a current Facebook post, should/shouldn’t attend a certain function, should/shouldn’t write a member of the family off because they did/didn’t do … you name it.
I enjoy reading the thought-provoking and varied responses that appear daily in the “Letters to Amy” column. We “land apes”, as Jim Toomey’s daily cartoon identifies humans, find ourselves in some pretty strange, if sometimes humorous situations. And Dr. Phil’s question continues to be valid. Ask yourself right now: “How’s your relationship with (individual or condition) working for you now?”
Time and again I read about friendships jeopardized after a lifetime of loving good times because “out of the blue” someone gave someone a hard time last time — you fill in the particulars. I’m only guessing here, but maybe it’s all this stayaway-from-my-door quarantine we’ve been under for over a year that’s causing us to be more touchy. It seems we can’t take even members of our own family, children included, for limited periods of time. We tend to forget commitments made earlier.
“Everything is part of one great harmonious whole. Once this balance is upset, once there creeps in a feeling of complete independence, then trouble starts to appear. The family unit needs to have a feeling of love permeating it. Husband, wife, and child are bound together by a feeling of love for each other, a dependence of one on the other,” Ernest Holmes said.
Whatever you may be experiencing, the challenges you face in the area of marriage or life partnership are potential openings for fuller spiritual expression. Begin to explore the beliefs that underlie any relationship and be willing to let go of beliefs that are now serving you falsely and accept the spiritual truth about you, which is wholeness and harmony.
“We attract what we give off, and if we’re giving off a lot of heart energy and goodness, we’ll attract that right back to us. We attract who we are,” Judith Orloff said.
When we recall a commitment we made to each other in the past, made with joyful intention of keeping love and respect alive, we can allow ourselves to be open to a recommitment of those same vows. These are the same spiritual qualities that you want to express today.
A simple way to begin is to explore your truth — what your heart truly wants. Repeat words such as, “I find fulfillment in my relationships. Each of us is valued and appreciated.” Then find ways to express this to your partner, your children, family members and friends and be open to hear it reciprocated. Then should someone ask, “How’s that working for you?,” you’ll come to the point of realizing, everything is holy now.