Learning the Canadian lingo
Ah the things you learn about when you travel like, all the different foods and how to speak the language or use the slang of the country you’re visiting. It’s quite wonderful, if you’re up for culinary adventure and get it right.
When I visited my daughter in Brazil many years ago, I quickly learned that the word my great grandmother used’ “oy” (short for “oy vey”) to convey dismay is the same word for “yes” in Portuguese though it is spelled “oi.” This was all swell and good until we were on a bus going a zillion miles an hour, careening around a hilltop road and I got thrown off balance and landed in some guy’s lap.
“Oy!” I exclaimed.
“Oi!” He replied, wiggling his eyebrows and giving me a lascivious grin as his hands moved on my body to places where no stranger should ever touch you.
Chalk that up to one of life’s more awkward moments.
I have to say catching on to Canadian lingo on our recent family vacation to Vancouver, British Columbia was, in comparison to Portuguese, a breeze.
First off is the quintessential “eh” that Canadians tack on to statements to make them questions. So, for example, “The Capilano suspension bridge really does swing when you walk across it, eh?”
It’s really not that tricky, but I did notice several instances when people, mostly Americans, tacked the “eh” on at the beginning of a sentence. A trespass so blatant that the Canadians just wouldn’t respond, but you could just feel them thinking, “Americans, what do you expect, eh?”
Also, and let’s be very clear on this, Canadians do not say “aboot” for about. They say “a-boat.” Got it? Good.
They call knitted hats “tuques” and their onedollar coins “loonies,” not because there’s anything crazy about the coin but because they literally have a picture of a loon on one side. If you ask “Where are the toilets?” it’s considered, well, a bit vulgar. Restrooms or bathrooms or, if you’re British, “the loo,” are called “washrooms” in Canada. Ever so much more genteel.
They pay their “hydro bill” every month, not their electric bill and they fill their cars with “petro” not, gas.
They say “zed” not “zee” for the last letter of the alphabet but do call ZZ Top Zee Zee Top because, it would be rude to change the band’s name and Canadians are, if nothing else, very polite.
They buy their beer at the Beer Store (not the liquor store) and a 24 pack is call a “2-4.” If you drink too many 2-4s, you’re likely to get the “Molson Muscle,” Canadian for “beer belly.” If you’re looking for something stronger that will also fit in your pocket or purse then, you’d purchase a “Mickey.” This is a small bottle of alcohol similar in size to those mini bottles of booze you can get on an airplane. Speaking of booze, you can’t get a Bloody Mary in BC but you can get a Caesar which is a Bloody Mary made with clamato juice. After the trek across the 450-foot long and 230foot high Capilano suspension bridge, this terrifiedof-heights American had two and in Canada when you order a cocktail the waitress or bartender always asks, “a double, eh?” To which there is no better answer than “yes.” So actually, I had four, making the trip back across the bridge slightly less terrifying.
And the fastest way to give yourself away as American is to refer to a Coffee Crisp, Caramilk,
Big Turk or Crispy Crunch as candy bars. These are “chocolate bars.”
Speaking of bars, the Nanaimo bars, named after the British Columbian city of Nanaimo, also call “Northern Bars,” are with their bottom layer of graham crackers and coconut, cream center and dark chocolate topping a confection not to be missed, eh? As in am I right? Or am I right? Yeah, I’m soooo right about this.
And if you’re hankering for a savory snack, two must tries are the ketchup chips and the all-dressed chips which are literally dressed with all the flavors including tomato, onion, salt, vinegar, sour cream, barbecue and other “mystery” flavors.
And no visit to Canada would be complete without ordering up at least one serving of poutine, a dish made of French fries topped with squeaky cheese curds and thick gravy. For many Canadian poutine is comfort food but all this American can say “aboat” it is “it should come with a side double shot of Pepto-Bismol, eh?” As in, “don’tchya think?” Yes, yes I most definitely do.