Contemplating a new, nonoffensive lifestyle

I may take the advice of our liberal comrades; those whose scholarly contributions we see so often on this page. Maybe

I’ll stop watching Fox News. It hurts my feelings when liberals call me an idiot for thinking Fox provides news you can’t get from their homies.

They say I’m a misogynist to think those “accidentally” scrubbed files might not have been Hillary’s recipes.

I’m offended by their lack of interest in the strong evidence the Biden family’s influence peddling took millions from China and Ukraine.

They say I’m stupid to think Trump’s not responsible for Afghanistan, the economy, or the border, even though Biden seems proud of these disasters.

They call me an eco-terrorist to believe the fossil fuel industry wasn’t primarily responsible for high gas prices; that it was a natural result of Biden’s declared war on them.

The say I’m a domestic terrorist if I insist on parents having a voice in school curricula.

Like the folks over at Fox, I believe truth isn’t subjective, and neither is morality or gender. That could sure be a buzzkiller at wine and cheese tastings, couldn’t it?

They say I’m racist for thinking BLM rioters should be punished and a fascist for thinking they’re exaggerating the much-less-destructive Jan. 6 protest.

If I stop watching Fox, I could become blissfully oblivious. I’d relax, drink a little chardonnay, and maybe light a candle for diversity, or a predictable climate.

And I wouldn’t be offending my open-minded liberal friends any longer.

— Jack McWherter, Cherokee