GTA V IS COMING!

20 things you must do in the PC version

1 Burn things

Find a jerrycan or buy one from an Ammu-Nation store for $25, and you can pour the flammable fluid as you please, possibly spelling your name if you’re the creative type. To ignite the fuel, you can shoot it, throw a Molotov at it, or even use the backfire from your car’s exhaust. Why not lay a trail to a gas pump and blow the station sky-high? Just remember: cool guys don’t look at explosions.

2 Literally become an animal

Consume a peyote plant and take a hallucinatory trip into the body of an animal. There are 27 to find—you can find some at the top of Mount Chiliad by some small red flags, others around the back of Los Santos Customs near the airport, and underwater at the end of Del Perro pier. Want to be a bird? You got it. How about a cat? You can do that, too.

3 Flip people off

Switch to ‘unarmed’ while driving a vehicle, then press fire to flip the bird and deliver drive-by abuse to pedestrians. It’s probably the most GTA thing you can do, in that it’s both morally dubious and hilarious. Although, come to think of it, driving a fire engine on the pavement and wiping out civilians is slightly more GTA.

4 Fly a blimp

Take the Atomic blimp for a ride at night over Los Santos and enjoy the city in all its neon glory—the skyline was stunning on consoles and is bound to look even better on PC. Of course, if this gorgeous but slow-moving vehicle isn’t interesting enough for you, you can always jump in a Hydra jet and blow it up.

5 Make everything cinematic

Long-time GTA fans are probably aware of the cinematic camera. In the console versions of the game you could click then angle down the right stick to make things go super slow-mo. Also, if you then cycled through the various in-car views, you could enable front-on interior shots of your character at the wheel—worth it just to see them curse. Enjoy similar functionality in the PC version.

6 Jump off a mountain

Head to the top of Mount Chiliad, where you can find a parachute inside the cable car station and motorcycles parked at the summit. Create your own stunts by riding off one of the nearby ramps then deploying your ’chute to glide to the base of the mountain. Of course, you could always use a push bike and fall to your death.

7 Hear hidden dialogue

For an example of just how extensive GTA V’s dialogue is, try attacking the property of other characters. For instance, as Trevor, fire an RPG at Michael’s mansion in Rockford Hills and he’ll send you a threatening text: “One more explosion... I am not kidding you.” Injure a member of his family, and they’ll also get in touch. Run over Michael’s son Jimmy and he’ll message you with “Just had a near-death experience LOL. You gotta pay my hospital dollarz.”

8 Fall over a lot

Pratfalling will change your life—just press B while jumping to take an epic dive. Sometimes you’ll leave blood on the pavement and cause bystanders to shriek in terror—hilarious. Spill through plate glass at bus stops; leap unexpectedly into the passenger seats of convertibles; perform diving headbutts on old ladies. Sure, it’s sounds fun, but the sheer compulsion to stack it at any given moment means you won’t be able to walk anywhere normally ever again. It’s an addiction.

9 Ride a rollercoaster

The Del Perro pier, GTA V’s ringer for the Santa Monica pier, has a rollercoaster you can ride. So do. It’s the sort of detail that makes the city so much fun to explore.

10 Steal a jet

Fort Zancudo houses the ultrapowerful Hydra jet, armed with both rockets and machine guns. It’s an absolute blast to have in your hangar at the airport—but first you have to get one, and that involves breaking into an army base buried in the map’s West Coast. If you survive the dozens of soldiers and get into the cockpit, you still have to take off without being shot out of the air by AA guns and tanks. Pulling this off is one of the coolest things you’ll do in a game.

11 Play some sports

For those weary of rampages, try one of the many leisurely pursuits on offer. There’s tennis at Michael’s stately crib (watch out, his wife’s got a mean serve), the chance to hit the fairway at Los Santos Golf Club, providing you pay the $100 entry fee, a button-matching yoga minigame with an obnoxious, ponytailed trainer, and even a 30-minute triathlon including cycling, swimming and running to really make your character sweat. A stamina boost is your reward.

12 Take a dip

There’s plenty to discover underwater. Enter a dingy, and on exiting, you’ll be strapped up with an oxygen tank and breathing apparatus. Loot wrecks for briefcases full of cash, but watch out for aquatic dangers including hammerhead sharks and crushing water pressure. If you purchase the Sonar Docks at Paleto Cove, a submersible will spawn, enabling you to hunt for toxic barrels. Each one is worth $23,000, and you’ll get an additional $250,000 once you collect all 30.

13 Cheat

Hopefully GTA V’s load of console cheats make their way to PC as well, because they’re really fun modifiers. Enabling invincibility then ‘spawn in the sky’ lets you make an epic Superman landing before entering the code for explosive punches and whacking a few dozen people. Turn the streets slippery and raise your wanted level to prompt a comedic car chase. Rockstar’s always provided extra fun with these cheats in past entries.

14 Rob a store

Fancy a bit of extra cash? Try robbing a liquor store, gas station, or 24/7 supermarket. All you need to do is produce your gun and point it at the clerk and they’ll start filling a bag with cold hard dough. Be warned: on leaving you’ll be slapped with a wanted level. If that all sounds a bit too genial you could always just shoot the clerk and rinse the cash register yourself. Expect anywhere from $200 to $1,000 for a robbery.

15 Go hunting

Birds, boar, deer and coyote are all fair game for Trevor Phillips, who can head into the Chiliad Mountain State Wilderness and meet Cletus between the hours of 5am and 17pm to hunt. Send a picture of your kill to Cletus for cash, or text it to someone else for a puzzled response. Head, neck and heart shots earn more.

16 Play the stock market

You can earn so much money here that it’s almost gamebreaking, but you won’t be complaining when you’re driving around in a velour speedboat. Events in the game affect share prices: killing corrupt jury members in Franklin’s Redwood trial for example increases the stock of Debonaire. Buy low, sell high.

17 Take a selfie

It’s the 21st century, and if you’re not constantly taking pictures of yourself you need to take a good hard look at yourself. Preferably through the lens of a smartphone. Using your smartphone in GTA V to take selfies with angry gang members. Take selfies next to disgusting old nudists. Take selfies on the tops of burning cars. Take selfies wearing a dress.

18 Consume copious drugs

Drugs can be hilarious in videogames, as demonstrated by our troubled man Trevor. If you visit the front of his skanky trailer in Blaine County you’ll find some contraband on his table to huff (that’s how drugs work, right? Huffing?). Doing so causes him to take a bad trip, black out, and wake up babbling a stream of consciousness in a random location.

19 Get online

In GTA V’s mammoth, MMO-like online offering, 16 players can go nuts across the entirety of San Andreas. Join a gang and buy matching suits, place a bounty on someone’s head, plop a car in the ocean using the skylift chopper. Buy a penthouse and stare at the world below, laughing.

20 Experiment with vehicles

Forklifts can carry cars, fire trucks spray water, and tow trucks, well, tow things. Pull up next to someone at a red light in a regular motor and beep your horn, and you'll instigate a street race. You can switch between dipped and hi-beam, and in convertibles you can press the D-pad right while stationary to pop the hood