Shaking down the grapevine.
The Spy knew that Grand Theft Auto V was going to be delayed. The elite espionage carrier pigeon The Spy sent to the PC Gamer office with the information made it just in time to prevent them from running ‘ GTA is here!’ on the cover. Shame it was too much for the little guy’s heart. Ubisoft’s anticipated pre-apocalyptic shooter The
Division may be due for an alpha test before release. Reddit users have been mining the game’s website for data, and have discovered a hidden section dedicated to just that. The page leads nowhere, which could either mean it was planned and dropped, or that it’s being prepared for this year.
The Spy knows all about the benefits of rigorous testing. Whenever there’s a new gadget to test in the field, The Spy is first to volunteer. The latest device is a pen disguised as a gun. It would probably make more sense the other way around, but you’d be surprised how many times The Spy has been in a situation where a gun is perfectly acceptable to brandish, but a pen must be carefully concealed. Very surprised.
Footage has emerged of a canceled Square Enix game based on the Legacy of Kain series, called Soul Reaver:
Dead Sun. The game, which looks like the Arkham series crossed with Assassin’s Creed, was binned in 2012 because Square Enix said it didn’t “meet sales projections.” A developer who allegedly worked on the game says the structure was inspired by the Zelda series. Will Dead Sun ever see the light of day? The leaked footage has been well received, so maybe they’ll bring it back from the dead.
Coincidentally, The Spy once infiltrated an evil organization of Triads called Dead Sun in Hong Kong. The initiation ritual involved climbing a mountain and retrieving a sacred flower. Little did they know, The Spy used a hidden grappling hook to climb to the peak without so much as breaking a sweat, and while wearing a full tuxedo, too. Rumors are rife in the underworld of a new Guitar
Hero game in the works. The plastic-instrument-bothering music title was once one of the biggest properties around, but then everyone got bored and Activision stopped making them. The new game, which may be revealed at E3, is supposedly being developed for Xbox and PlayStation. But is a PC version out of the question? They’re missing out on a potentially massive audience if they don’t release the game on Steam.
The Spy once played guitar in an all-spy band. They played quite a few gigs around the world between missions, but eventually broke up due to creative differences. The Spy wanted to head in a reggae/metal direction, but another spy was convinced that jazz fusion was the way to go. To protect The Spy’s cover, all band members had to be quietly garroted backstage.
For the first time, Bethesda will have its own event at E3 2015, in a move that puts the publisher alongside giants like EA and Activision. Most likely the show will provide a platform for new games. This, of course, has led people to believe that the company will be revealing either a new Fallout or a new Elder Scrolls, two series that are in dire need of a sequel.
Bethesda and its parent company Zenimax recently spent a fortune on The Elder Scrolls Online, which didn’t perform as well as expected. So announcing a new game for either of those beloved series would certainly be a wise move, if only for the stock price. Zenimax recently forced the makers of a game called Fortress Fallout to change the title, because it infringed on the Fallout trademark, so perhaps that’s a sign of what’s to come.
That’s another month of rumors and news nuggets done. The Spy is getting misty-eyed about the band days, and might break out the guitar for old time’s sake. There’s a machine gun hidden in the neck, just in case. Spy out.