“I rally the party with a pep talk and some dance emotes”
Punching a series Eikon in Final Fantasy XIV
It’s time to put Diablos in his place and show him I’m the final boss in this scenario
THIS MONTH
Left house, thwarted evil.
ALSO PLAYED
Stardew Valley, Tales of Berseria
On the rare occasions I leave my ridiculous Paissa-shaped house I like to go all out. Frankly, doing fetch quests for Moogles or checking out yet another dungeon isn’t worth stepping out of the door for. Thankfully, after making friends with some sky pirates a few months back they’ve started inviting me to their raves... I mean raids.
Their latest venue is this ancient city, Dun Scaith, which you can only reach by airship. Only the coolest adventurers can join the party and rub shoulders with the likes of Mrs Boombastic (yes, really). No matter how tight the guest list, there are always a few party crashers who just want to start trouble, but it’s not often you find an old demonic nemesis and Final Fantasy series celebrity as the instigator of it all.
Diablos’ classic devil design look is so iconic it’s barely changed since his first appearance in FFVIII. He’s also a major character in FFXIV lore— summoned by one ancient civilization to destroy another, and sealed away for thousands of years before being found again. Being the King of voidsent demons he’s also got some serious anger issues, and would like nothing more than to ruin all of civilization as we know it.
After beating him up back in Amdapor, then kicking him out of that raid in Void Ark, he’s not a very happy guy. He’s also brought along his pals, who are hopped up on void magic and up for a fight. There’s the weird, big friend who wears a sheet and attacks your ship straight away, his best bud Ferdiad, who reckons he’s a bit of a clown, his feisty girlfriend’s pal who wants to gouge your eyes out, and finally, his girlfriend, who is the toughest of the lot and a bit of exhibitionist.
After taking out all that trash and making a few mistakes everyone is on a downer and people start arguing among themselves. Nerves are frayed, frustrations bubble to the surface, and healers are blamed—it’s not feeling like a very good party any more. Finally that prick Diablos reveals himself and starts gloating about what a hard man he is, and after taking all those beatings to get this far he certainly feels like one.
But something snaps. It’s time to put Diablos in his place and show him I’m the final boss in this scenario, not him. I rally the party with a pep talk and some dance emotes—it’s time for the final push. We’ve got this.
Diabollocks
The fight is long and hard, and at one point there’s a bit of argy-bargy with his giant balls (ahem). It takes a lot of effort—desperately trying to dodge meteors falling from the sky and giant lasers while landing some punches. But something about how dire the situation is stirs up determination in everyone— we can do this. Somehow among all the chaos all 24 of us are working together as one. With one final hit he crumbles.
I killed a god and it feels fantastic. Best. Raid. Ever. That sense of accomplishment of so many people coming together to take down a giant of the FinalFantasy series in such a hard-fought battle is unparalleled. It’s been the best night out in Eorzea an adventurer could have. Maybe I should get out of the house more often.