Far Cry 5: Lost on Mars

Dick jokes and rep­e­ti­tion in Far Cry 5: Lost on Mars.

PC GAMER (US) - - REVIEW - By Chris Liv­ingston

Ubisoft’s tower climb­ing puz­zles make an un­for­tu­nate come­back

We now have con­clu­sive ev­i­dence of dick jokes on Mars. From a gun called the Nut Hug­ger, to an abil­ity called the Cock Blocker, to a mis­sion to lo­cate a de­tached hu­man pe­nis, it’s re­cently been of­fi­cially con­firmed that the red planet can sup­port dozens of dong ref­er­ences. Un­for­tu­nately, Lost on Mars, the sec­ond add-on for Far Cry 5, doesn’t sup­port much else. You play as pi­lot Nick Rye, one of the com­pan­ion char­ac­ters from Far Cry 5, but Hurk Drub­man Jr. is the real star of Lost on Mars. Hurk’s body has been dis­mem­bered by arach­nids and scat­tered around the planet, with Hurk spend­ing most of the ad­ven­ture as a hov­er­ing ‘Brobot’. Af­ter tele­port­ing you to Mars, Hurk be­comes your side­kick as you col­lect his re­mains and ac­quire power cores to re­ac­ti­vate an AI he’s be­come smit­ten with.

While Nick doesn’t have ac­cess to a plane, that doesn’t mean he can’t fly. Us­ing a grav­ity belt that gives you a few sec­onds of air­time, and ‘space wings’ that let you glide, you’ll be able to get Nick into the air, at least un­til your power de­pletes or grav­ity brings you back down. Belt-boost­ing and wing-suit­ing have their uses on Mars. Not only can arach­nids de­tect your foot­steps on the sand, Ubisoft’s tower-climb­ing puz­zles make an un­for­tu­nate come­back in this DLC.

The arach­nids, mean­while, are like Far Cry 5’ s wildlife and hu­man en­e­mies rolled into one: Grunts swarm at you, but there are also spe­cial­ized classes like sniper crabs and ar­mored crabs, as well as queens with a huge amount of health and the abil­ity to dis­able your weapons and grav­ity belt with their spit­tle. Those don’t make them fun to fight: Ul­ti­mately, they’re just mon­sters with sim­ple at­tacks and poor AI.

Laser drag

Ubisoft doesn’t get cre­ative with its sci-fi weapons, ei­ther. Most feel tame and joy­less to fire, and even the shapes of the weapons are dull, with each pis­tol, ri­fle, and shot­gun look­ing al­most iden­ti­cal. There’s a grenade which sum­mons a chicken that will dis­tract the space crabs, and power gloves that let you punch mon­sters into goo as a fin­isher, but oth­er­wise the ar­se­nal isn’t in­ven­tive enough to make the dull fights feel ex­cit­ing.

Lost on Mars mer­ci­fully doesn’t take long to fin­ish, per­haps five or six hours, but it still winds up feel­ing like a se­ries of chores. There are a cou­ple of sur­prises, but the DLC oth­er­wise boils down to a sim­ple loop: Fight bugs, kill a queen, col­lect a core, scale a tower to ac­ti­vate it, and re­peat, pick­ing up Hurk’s miss­ing dong and man­boobs along the way.

I’m ac­tu­ally pretty fond of Hurk at this point: He’s crass and crude, and never stops talk­ing—some­thing I would nor­mally find ir­ri­tat­ing. But he’s a good-na­tured guy, and is so un­fazed by his sit­u­a­tion that it’s hard not to en­joy his com­pany. And I’m glad he’s here: Hurk’s com­men­tary is the high­light of a DLC pack that’s oth­er­wise hard to rec­om­mend.

ver­dict

Fight­ing bugs on Mars is a repet­i­tive ex­er­cise only en­livened by the pres­ence of your chatty pal Hurk.

50

Hurk is the best part of the DLC pack.

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