End of life choices need to be contemplated by all

If we exclude the world of politics (and the focus on Trump’s tweets) the focal point of most of the news is on opportunities for a multitude of personal entertainment choices or on the opposite extreme the extent of violence in the world. This article is not intended to compete with those areas, but rather to point out that after our years in the pursuit of pleasure and as we feel the strain of aging creeping into our lives, we might need to consider how, given a choice, we might choose to end our life.

The last few years have provided me with a whole new perspective on death and the circumstances that can alter our choices of how and when we can make decisions about the “conditions of death.” The illnesses I witnessed have ranged from lung cancer to Alzheimer’s to plain old age and the manner of the dying varied from accepting the pain and suffering as “God’s will,” to praying to die to get it over with.

My first personal experience of being around a terminally ill person occurred in my early teens when my grandfather was bed-fast over the final months of his life. I was one who helped with some of his care and assisted in necessary activities such as shaving. The process lasted for weeks, not days as we see today in our Hospice programs. I do not know how much he suffered because, as he neared death in the last days, I was not with him. If he had been given a choice over that period of time to end the downward spiral, we will not know his choice. Since observing that event I have had the opportunity to spend periods of time with friends and relatives during their last few days and it has led to a totally different understanding of the views of death that were formed in my Sunday School classes and church services. It has also led me to a different understanding of the many social problems that we generally choose to ignore until we face them first hand with a family member.

If the people who were faced with these terminal illnesses would have taken a choice of a dignified and pain-free death rather than the limited possibilities facing them and their families, we can’t be sure. I know at least one who might have chosen that option because that person frequently ask prayerfully to “get the dying process over.” We frequently face comforting loved ones who are terminally ill which is not an easy task. Sometimes we know, or can guess, how close they are to the end, but seldom do we have the courage to talk about death until we must do so. As the end nears, we become more and more helpless. We tend to lean on social norms or allow recommendations from the medical profession to guide our decisions. Nowhere do our Arkansas laws or social norms provide for us the necessary latitude to really make meaningful end of life choices or deal with our own death realistically.

Recently, I had the opportunity to be with family members during their Hospice facility deaths and that experience further reinforced my views of the need for including self-induced euthanasia as a choice. There are plenty of statistics telling us, or maybe warning us, about the number of patients currently suffering various stages of Alzheimers disease. Not everyone who suffers from the effects of that disease, or any other disease, can be cared for in their home. The ones who can are truly blessed and the love of the caregivers exceeds any financial compensation that money can buy. The fact that we see nursing homes opening in record numbers, and many have special “memory care” units points out the dramatic health care changes taking place in society. As our population continues to grow in number and people live longer (90 is not so unusual today), our thinking needs to recognize the changes and provide opportunities for dealing with the terminally ill that are now available only in a limited number of places.

I would prefer to make my experience of dying an opportunity to share a happy exit from this world with my family rather than spend the last few days in a morphine-induced coma unable to communicate with those who made my life worthwhile.

Several European countries and five states in the United States have made self-induced euthanasia legal. Oregon has actually been the leader in America and it has been legal there since 1997. The restrictions or conditions may vary by state, but the goal is much the same. It provides a means of avoiding needless pain and provides for planning to allow members of the family to be participants in a meaningful farewell experience rather than an attempt to bring family together for a funeral that might attempt to be a celebration of one’s life but might actually create a time of stress for the family when all members’ needs are considered.

When families are as widely spread out geographically as mine, the greatest gift I could have for them would be a wellplanned and thoughtful last experience of my life. The bringing together of family in a time of peaceful sharing and fond goodbyes is more meaningful and certainly more in line with my Christian beliefs than having family members watch me gradually waste away under some of the conditions I observed recently in hospice facilities.

This topic needs to be talked about in society today — in churches, over coffee at the local cafe and with physicians and legislators as we live longer with cancer, Alzheimers and other diseases more common in later years. The activity needed to make change happen takes time to bring to fruition. I hope to see the choice in my lifetime.

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Editor’s note: Leo Lynch, an award-winning columnist, is a native of Benton County and has deep roots in northwest Arkansas. He is a retired industrial engineer and former Justice of the Peace. The opinions expressed are those of the author. He can be contacted at prtnews@nwadg.com.