OK for singles to like Tinder
DEAR HARLAN: What is your opinion on using apps like Tinder to meet men or women? — LOOKING
DEAR LOOKING: As long as you’re not married, in a relationship or desperately horny, it can be a positive way to connect. Tinder and dating apps are popular because they turn dating into a game. With Tinder, you see a picture. You swipe right if you like; you swipe left you don’t. If someone swipes right and you also swipe right, BOOM! You can connect and send messages.
Tinder is a way for people who don’t want to use online dating sites to meet people without having to admit they’re on an online dating site. It’s a backdoor way of finding a connection without committing to the process and facing humiliating rejection. Tinder makes you appear to not be very serious about looking, but at the same time, it gives you a chance at love, lust or creepy connections. It’s all about accessibility. You find people; people find you. And for those of you who love to swipe right, according to the Tinder blog, it’s going to cost you extra (www.gotinder.com/ blog/keeping-tinder-real): “We introduced an algorithm that intelligently limits the number of likes a user can make in a consecutive 12-hour period. Since introducing this just 10 days ago, we’ve seen a 25 percent increase in the number of matches per right swipe, a 25 percent increase in the number of messages per match, and a 52 percent decrease in spam bots (another of our biggest user complaints).”
That said, Tinder can be another way of finding a meaningful connection. The secret to Tinder and connecting online with new people is to set boundaries and go slowly. Some people on Tinder are looking for a hookup; some are looking to cheat; some are looking for a meaningful connection.
With any dating app, make sure you know who this person is before meeting. Find the person on Facebook, check him or her out on www.beenverified.com (do a quick background check) and do a thorough search on Google (use quotes for search “John Smith”) before meeting face to face (meet in a group). You can control the pace and set boundaries. This is how you can figure out who is looking for a hot, fleeting hookup and who wants a long-term connection.
DEAR HARLAN: There’s a guy I’ve known for the past couple of years. We are friendly. He strikes me as being on the shy side. What do you think about a girl asking a guy on a date? What happens if he’s not interested? — NOT MY STYLE
DEAR NOT MY STYLE: I meet a lot of women waiting for someone else to make the first move. You know what I call them? SINGLE. I encourage women to make it safe for people to like them. Making it safe means that you make it clear that you’re interested. It doesn’t necessarily mean taking someone on a date. It can be as simple as making it clear that you find that person interesting and wouldn’t say “no” if asked to go out. Men love it when women show interest. It makes it easier for us. We hate rejection as much as you do. When you make that move and make it safe, we can move forward. If we don’t move forward, then you should move on. A confident, comfortable, attractive, intelligent woman who shows her interest in men is not a woman who stays single for long.