Baby won’t help failing marriage

DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I are on the brink of divorcing, but no one in my family knows. I worry that if we don’t have a baby, I may never have one (I’m 37). Do you think it’s wrong to try and get pregnant, even if I know we may not stay together? My girlfriends think I’m crazy, but I reallywant a baby. —BABY ON THE BRAIN

DEAR BABY ON THE BRAIN: Life doesn’t always work out the way we hope or expect. Bringing another human being into the world is a huge responsibility and one that should not be made lightly.

I know you may feel the hands of time tick-tocking in your mind, but think this through. Do you really want to be attached to this man for the rest of your life, considering you are on the brink of divorcing? (I mean, there must be a reason you aren’t staying together, right?)

Instead of trying to get pregnant, do this first. Ask him if he wants to go to counseling to see if the relationship is salvageable. If you don’t think that it is, then walk away, baby free. If you do think it is and you may just be going through a rough time, then take the time to work on your marriage first. I know babies are adorable and fun, but they grow into little people, who grow into teenagers, who grow into young adults — you get the idea. Think long and hard, and remember, there are lots of ways to be a mother, lots of children who need a home, who need a mentor, who need a friend.