Had adventures around the world, learned seven languages
If he was going to do something, Juan “Joji” Maniquis Montelibano did it full tilt. He didn’t stop after he was good at it, he stopped when he mastered it.
Over the course of his life he was almost ordained a priest, danced professionally for about a decade, and learned seven languages fluently.
He led an ideal life full of adventure, a well-paying job and a loving family, but throughout it he suffered from anxiety-induced depression.
For more than 10 years, he sought help through medication and therapy, but he never overcame it, his family said. Mr. Montelibano took his own life Friday at his home in Squirrel Hill. He was 47.
He was a man who could tell scores of stories from his adventures across the world, but the one about how he met his wife, Gabriella Gonzalez, stands out. He was working at Harvard University’s information technology department part time and had to pick up a computer from the sociology department, where his future wife was working on her Ph.D. He walked by her desk and locked eyes with her. He called his sister, Mara Kim Hiel, that same day to tell her that he had met the woman he wanted to marry.
One day, Ms. Gonzalez brought her broken laptop to his office. He was caught off guard and started to close out the tabs on his computer, trying to hide his searches. She noticed that one of the tabs was about ashtanga yoga. She practiced it, and so did he.
“When he found out about the yoga,” she said, “He tried 50 percent more to impress me, and then I brought up my boyfriend.”
At that point Mr. Montelibano had a girlfriend, a master’s degree in theological studies from Harvard and a master’s in chemical engineering from the University of Southern California, and was contemplating giving it all up to become a priest.
But he wanted to marry Ms. Gonzalez more. They ended their respective relationships and married 18 months later.
He wouldn’t even let his own body stop him, said his sister. At the age of 14, Mr. Montelibano decided that he wanted to be a professional ballet dancer. First position in ballet requires that the legs and feet be turned out as close to 180 degrees as possible. He didn’t have the natural flexibility, so he would lie face-down on the floor with his legs turned out, the bottoms of his feet touching, and his hips thrust upward. He would then ask his sister to sit on top of his hips so they would be pushed down to the ground and become more flexible. After graduating from Stanford University with a bachelor’s degree in chemical engineering in 1991, he danced professionally with the San Francisco Ballet, Singapore Ballet, Hong Kong Ballet and the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
He learned languages as a virtue of his travels but also with a specific goal in mind — food. He would learn a language well enough to talk to the locals and get food that wasn’t the tourist version, said his sister.
“Everyone thought he was a local,” said Ms. Gonzalez. “He had a perfect accent in every language.”
In addition to his wife and sister, Mr. Montelibano is survived by his parents, J. Roberto and Maria Teresita Montelibano from the Philippines; a brother, Michael “Miko” Montelibano of the Philippines; and three children, Joaquin Ysidro, Sofia Amal and Sol Yasmine, all of Squirrel Hill.
Visitation at McCabe Bros. Inc. Funeral Home on 6214 Walnut St. in Shadyside is from 4 to 6 p.m. Thursday.
The family donated Mr. Montelibano’s brain tissue to a UPMC study on the links between brain chemistry and suicide. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation to fund research on depression and suicide.