‘Human Library’ sparks dialogue
Coveredfrom head to toe in a vibrantgreen jumpsuit, topped witha black sun hat, the first speakersat upright in her wheelchair.The bright colors seemed tomatch her demeanor as she jokedwith the audience before beginningher presentation.
“Dealing with mental illness is stressful, but dealing with your daughter’s mental illness is more stressful,” she said into the microphone.
On Monday, four speakers addressed about 50 people at the Carnegie Library in East Liberty to spread understanding and awareness about
behavioral health as part of the launch of the “The Human Library” project. Begun in Denmark, its goal is to eliminate stereotypes and prejudice by having ‘human books” share their stories of struggle and personal renewal.
“Inour society, behavioral healthhas fear and misunderstandingaround it, and that’sbad for everyone involved,”said the Rev. Sally JoSnyder, director of advocacyand consumer engagementfor the Consumer HealthCoalition, a sponsor of the project. “It is our goal to createan impact on people andkeep getting the stories outthere for others to see.”
As the woman in the green body suit told her story, audience members seemed to be on the edges of their seats as she spoke of her struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder after she was sexually assaulted in her bed, suffering injuries so severe that she now can’t walk.. Her daughter suffers from behavioral mental illness, and the speaker questioned how she could be the super mom she wanted to be for her daughter while at the same time dealing with her own issues.
“I call it the ‘90-10,’,” she said.. “I thought dealing with my PTSD at the same time was selfish because my daughter needed me. But I learned that I can be 10 percent selfish if I can be 90 percent selfless, and that’s what I strive to be every day.”
She ended her segment by telling the audience that through the Bible, she had forgiven the man who attacked her, saying forgiveness is for the victim, not the perpetrator.
“The best day of my life was when I forgave him,” she said.
After the applause, the next speaker, a man with a Vietnam veteran cap on his head and a guitar strapped to his chest, took the microphone.
Don Schlegel, 67, said he, too, suffers from PTSD. His began during his third week in Vietnam as a young-yearold soldier.
It was his 21st birthday, Ground Hog Day, when an enemy rocket struck his barracks. Mr. Schlegel said he was behind an outhouse when the rocket hit three feet from him on the other side of a line of waste drums. When the rocket exploded, the drums saved his life.
“Ithought to myself, ‘Wow whata birthday candle!’ It wasa hell of a candle and a prettydisgusting cake,” he joked, referring to the latrine andthe barrels of waste that explodedaround him.
Thememory of that scary momentcontinued to plague him,but now his guitar is his copingmechanism, he said.
“The first couple of episodes,you shake like a leaf, butover time you harden and getused to it,” he said. “PTSD knowsno boundaries, no race,no gender, and anyone canend up with it.”
He sang snippets of songs by John Lennon, making up his own words as he went along, advising the audience to value life because it can be taken away in an instant.
Thethird speaker, was a soft-spoken 21-year-old studentat Chatham University whosaid she works four jobs to be self-reliant and independent.She spoke about how shehas tried to make a difference in other girls’ lives after shewas sexually assaulted andhad a miscarriage.
“Sometimes I tell my friend that I’m a ghost — not existing in this world and not existing outside the world,” she said. “But it’s important to share stories to bond with other people and help others heal.”
A rising senior at Chatham, she is conducting research on women who have gone through gender violence and is exploring how therapy through horticulture can help.
“It helps to face what has happened to you and get the therapy you need,” she said.
The last speaker was a transgender woman who had lost everything: her wife, her sons, her job and her home. Now, she said, she is struggling to find meaning in her life. She said she had been sexually assaulted twice -- once in the military and again later in life.
“I learned to suck it up and keep quiet,” she repeated many times during her talk. “I’ve always hidden in the background. I’ve always blended in. I’ve always been a ghost, never knowing who to talk to or who to smile to, because I'm not sure it will be taken the [right] way.”
She credits programs that took her in during her time of struggle.
“Peoplebuilt a community andrelationships right here tonight,” said Kali Stull, organizerof the series, who plans to expand it to other locations.
“We will have a conversation a couple of days a month so folks can see the ‘human libraries’ and also do outreach to other organizations to spread the word,” said Rev. Snyder. “Tonight was a journey of courage, and the four storytellers are amazing for their courage and depth of stories.”