My master class in life

I learned a lot while leading Equality Pennsylvania

After seven years as executive director of Equality Pennsylvania, the statewide LGBTQ advocacy organization, I stepped down on June 30. Those years were more than just a wild ride, they were transformational … for me, my family and friends, for Pennsylvania and for the country.

It was a pretty improbable journey for a 10-year Catholic altar boy, but I survived and saw a world of change, oftenfrom a ringside seat. I learned a lot. I learned that attitudes can change. When I started, Pennsylvania elected officials often claimed there wereno “gay people” in their districts. In 2010, they were toying with a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage. By 2017, after we introduced them to thousands of LGBTQ couples and their families, and after the courts had given us marriage rights, such attacks were seen as harmful, meanspirited, even absurd. Open season on LGBTQ people seemed to be coming to a close.

I learned that having a thick skin and comfortable shoes are just as important as having all the answers. I spoke to many groups and never once had a question thrown at me in malice. There were quite a few goofy questions, but I knew they often were based in a person’s struggle to understand. That taught me the importance of listening and talking with respect for one another. We may not always agree, but it is the only way democracy will survive and the singular wayto get anything done.

I learned that politicians quoting [fill in the name of a Founding Father here] about the “slow and deliberative nature of legislating” is as much a dodge against doing hard work and making tough decisions as it is an interpretation of history.

Recent polls show 78 percent of respondents think you shouldn’t be allowed to fire people because they are gay or transgender. Yet the state Legislature has struggled unsuccessfully for 14 years to pass such a prohibition. While they pondered, we got 20 communities to pass local ordinances prohibiting LGBTQ discrimination and brought more politicians and faith and business leaders forward publicly as allies, helping to shift the tide toward acceptance. I learned Harrisburg can be moved, but it takes time. Far too many people simply ignore the state capital.

I learned there’s no such thing as a “Pennsylvanian.” I could walk into a room full of people from Pennsylvania and yell “Hey, Pennsylvanian!” and no-one would turn around. I could yell “Hey Pittsburgher or Yorker or Philadelphian” and some people would turn, but the last true “Pennsylvanian” who considered himself as such was probably Benjamin Franklin.

We are a regionally obsessed state and hard-wired to think that way. This produces outlooks that can be provincial and sometimes silly, but they power our thinking, even though the only way to make progress is to understand we’re all in it together. Pennsylvania needs its own version of “e pluribus unum.”

I learned that faith is incredibly important to many people, but when it is “weaponized,” it is hurtful and poisonous to good governing. The things said about LGBTQ people I heard in the name of faith were horrifying and brought tears to my eyes. Sadly, often those words worked, and they provided cover to elected officials only too eager to hang onto them. This was deeply disappointing. There must be a separation of church and state, and I understand its importance now more than ever.

When I took the job in 2010, some closest to me thought that I needed to have my head examined. Legalized same-sex marriage was crazy talk. Ridiculously antique words such as “homosexual” were common and “transgender” almost never mentioned. But in a short time, the world has changed dramatically for the better. It shows what a little learning can do.

It has been a master class in life.