Is your single friend wedding obsessed?
on bridal dresses. She wants to go ring shopping — but the weirdest part? She is SINGLE! She is 28, single and hasn’t had a long-term relationship in a few years. Her delusional attitude is turning off a lot of my friends, and I am finding it really awkward being around her. What do I do? for a dream wedding, Should I say something to get real with her. Gently, her? She is starting to weird start off by saying that while me out. Plus, the last guy she you love beautiful dresses as dated was so creeped out by much as the next person, her he dumped her, like, after you find it a little bizarre date three. — that she is focused on a wedding WEDDING OBSESSED when she isn’t dating
DEAR WEDDING anyone. Instead, maybe the OBSESSED: Yikes, sounds two of you can try a hobby like your friend really could together that is not wedding use a bride intervention. related, like yoga or a cooking There are women out there class or something that who are obsessed with not you know she enjoys doing. necessarily marriage but instead Redirect her to things that the concept of the fat build up her self-esteem, that and fabulous wedding. Well, aren’t tied to dating and that many of these women find get her to think about who themselves disappointed by she is as a person, not as half the result, their fairy-tale of a duo sitting on top of a wedding never living up to cake. their expectations, the man DEAR NATALIE: My never living up to their ideal good friend has been in a Prince Charming, their life long-term relationship for a not changing in the way that while but can’t seem to get they thought it would, and over the ex. The ex is remarried they end up feeling miserable. and indulges my friend So, what’s a girl to do in with heavy flirtation, which your situation? Sometimes, makes it worse. I don’t know you have to hold up that mirror. if they have “rekindled” anything, The next time she suggests but my friend is distraught. poring over wedding He doesn’t want to mags together or dress shopping break up a happy home, but he can’t seem to shake his ex. I keep telling him that this will only end badly for both of them, but he’s like a moth to a flame. Any thoughts? — GOING TO GET BURNED
DEAR GOING TO GET BURNED: If you believe in the possibility of past lives, maybe your friend was with this person as lovers in another time and place. Instead of respecting the rules and boundaries of this life, they are trying to re-create a place that will never be again. It’s actually sad and poetic if you think of it that way, which can change the way you approach your friend’s desire for this other person. Sometimes, dreams of the past and those rosecolored glasses can cloud a person’s judgment and make them long for things that never were. The next time your friend brings up his ex, ask him why they didn’t work out. Ask why they went in separate directions in the first place. Lust is a selfish feeling; love is selfless. If he really loves this person and doesn’t want to cause harm, he has to let that person go and focus on the relationship in front of him. This person is remarried, and while they may think it is fun and sexy to flirt with their ex, it’s harmful to everyone involved. Ask your friend, “How could you build anything solid with your ex knowing it was built on lies and betrayal?”
Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Use those networking skills to organize some friends and colleagues to give back. Hurricane Harvey has left some major damage in its wake, so why not throw an impromptu charity potluck where donations are sent to the Red Cross? Feels good to do good!