A case of the Jukes? Let the used car buyer beware

Our family has a collection of ragtag automobiles that, while they still run, have seen better days. My wife and I each need a car to get to work, and our two daughters in college have to have cars or they could never leave campus. As a result, we all spend much of our time riding around in vehicles that may or may not get us where we want to go. For our cars, every mile could be the Green Mile.

About three years ago, my wife and I went looking for a car for her, bringing along our oldest son. My wife had her eye on a model she’d seen on the street, the Nissan Juke. She thought it looked cool and powerful, much more “sporty” than the sedans she’d been driving. We might not be able to get her a new car, but at least she could get one that looked “new-ish.”

Our son had other thoughts. The Juke, he said, was about the most revolting car ever produced. My wife would be a laughingstock, riding around in a misshapen circus attraction that would call attention to how out of touch she was. He even pulled up a news story on his phone saying that the Juke was actually getting uglier witheach passing year.

We drove the car, but it was hard to concentrate with my son making snarky comments from the back seat. By the end of the test drive, even the salesman was convinced that no one should ever be seen in this monstrosity. My wife decided to go with an old Volvo sedan, safe, comfortable … and boring. Ever since, when we pass a Juke on the street, she lets out a longingsigh.

Then last month, my car was totaled. I was heading to work on the highway when I saw an accident up ahead. I slowed down to pass safely, wondering whether I needed to call 911. The person behind me chose not to slow down — at all — and slammed into me so hard that I was sent skidding a hundred yards up the road, leaving bits and chunks of Subaru along the way and leaving me with aches, sprains and minor cuts.

While we waited for the extremely inattentive driver’s insurance company to settle up, I had to take one of our girls’ cars to work. She’s been goodabout it, but I can feel the growing iciness in the air as each day goes by. At some point I expect her to take a Megabus home and kill me in mysleep.

For the past few weekends, my wife and I have been scouring the used car lots for something I could drive that bridged the gap between what the insurance check covered and what might get me to work on time, at least most of the time.

Last weekend, as I was being guided around a Mazda dealershipby a salesman who tried to explain, diplomatically, that there was nothing in our price range that would last through spring without melting down, my wife sidled up and whispered, so loud the salesman heard, “ACROSS THESTREET!AJUKE!”

We thanked the salesman for his time, pulled out of the lot, made a few fake turns, and pulled into the lot. There, right in the front row, was a Juke that looked like a brand-new car but had so much mileage that it was right in our price range. We took a test drive and, with no chorus of doom from the back seat, liked it. This seemed to be the car for us.

Monday morning at work, I announced to coworkers that I’d finally settled on a new-ish car. Heads turned.

“A Nissan Juke,” I said. Blank stares, followed by concerned looks, followed by an outburst of protests. The Juke was a disgrace, an affront to all mankind. How could I consider something so heinous? I sat at my desk, fuming.

I still might get the Juke. As I write this, it’s sitting there, repulsive and unloved, in the front row at the dealership. But I might ask the salesman if he can throw in something extra to make the ride a little easier

Like tinted windows. Very, very dark tinted windows.

A dispute between CBS and DISH Network, which resulted in Pittsburgh-area and nationwide DISH subscribers losing CBS programming around 1 a.m. Tuesday, has been settled.

CBS and DISH Network have reached a multi-year agreement for carriage of CBS-owned stations across the country as well as CBS Sports Network, POP and Smithsonian Channel. Financial terms of the deal were not disclosed.

The dispute had caused both KDKA-TV and The CW (WPCW) to go dark for DISH subscribers. CBS-owned stations