Family fights causing rift in marriage
for the past several years because of an air conditioning issue at our vacation home that they used a few years ago. When they got into the house, they called to tell us that the A/C wasn’t working. We asked if they called the A/C company on the island. They hadn’t, and we suggested that they make the call based on their availability. The outcome was that the fuse just had to be switched off/on— at no cost — but they remained angry at us for not making the call. This was the source of their anger for several years. Go figure.
The reason that this caused a problem at the 85th birthday party was that Ryan had no idea, nor did we, that Sean and his wife were holding a grudge. As he was angrily discussing their grievances, I cut him off by saying that I did not understand his problem and was not going to discuss such silly issues with him and that it was a shame that they were causing problems at his dad’s party. When we got back home, I wanted my husband to talk to Sean about this, but he wouldn’t do it. I told him that he enables bad behavior when he chooses not to acknowledge it. He tiptoes around his grown kids, afraid to ever say anything to them, and the problems never end. What should I do? — FED UP STEPMOM must hurt to see his son mistreat him in this way. But, getting in the middle of it will only stir up more problems and most likely cause tension between you and your husband as well as his kids. You may just have to suck it up and accept that DEAR FED UP this is what it is. The good STEPMOM: Unfortunately, part is, it doesn’t seem like these patterns of behavior they come around a lot, anyway. were sown many (Yikes, that’s sad when moons ago, and I doubt the that’s the “good” part.) dynamics between your husband and his children are ever going to change. In this situation, while it appears that your stepson is really childish, petty and, frankly, a total brat — stay out of this mess. Whatever his resentment is toward your husband is between them, and it may be that there is a lot under the surface that hasn’t been healed over the years. While you may have to interact with them on some occasions, the best thing you can do is to keep your emotional distance. A tiger can’t change its stripes.
While you may be annoyed with your husband’s dynamic with his children, he seems resigned to it. It’s clear you love him, and it
Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Seek out a mentor in your industry to help guide you to the next phase of your career. Use your network to leverage those contacts that could be helpful to you and take every opportunity presented to create a bond with someone who is where you want to be in your career.