Don’t run off to marry a younger man just yet

glasses are taken off. Does he contribute to your household? Maybe he can’t pay his half of the rent, but are there other things he does to help you? How does he treat you?

I appreciate that he wants to pursue his acting dreams and that you support that, but have you thought about what lifestyle that will mean? Lots of travel, lots of temptation, and he’s only 24. My advice? Listen to your mama. Take a minute. Think this through. Don’t do anything that involves paperwork and see what happens a year from now.

DEAR NATALIE: I recently was asked to be in a large bridal party for one of my dearest friends. I don’t get along great with some of the other girls, and a few of them (let’s call them Lila and Molly) are taking the reins on the bridal shower. They want to have this big, overthe-top party for her, and I offered to help. They haven’t really given me any of the details, and when I asked for a breakdown of what they were going to spend, they called me “cheap” and said, “This is your best friend’s special day. You shouldn’t ask about money.” Well, I think I have every right to ask about the money considering they want me to pay for a third of it. Why can’t all the bridesmaids chip in? There are nine of us! That would reduce the cost substantially and make it easier to share the work. But Lila and Molly want total control, and I don’t knowwhat to do. Obviously, I don’t want the bride to find any of this out, but I’m not sure what to do. — BRIDAL SHOWER SNAFU

DEAR SHOWER SNAFU: You are not cheap. You are reasonable. What’s not reasonable is that two of these ladies think it’s cool to plan everything and not give you a breakdown of costs. Because this is a delicate situation and you don’t want to cause any drama, tell them: “I won’t be financially contributing until I see a breakdown of costs. I’m willing to give a portion of the total, but until I know what it is and why we are spending what we are spending, I can’t give you anything.” Or just offer them a flat amount like: I’m happy to pitch in $100. It’s what I’m comfortable with. Why don’t we ask the other bridesmaids if they could offer something to reduce costs for everyone?” If they are aghast at that, wash your hands of the whole thing and say, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to plan together if you can’t completely include me.” See if they change their tune. But whatever you do, don’t repeat this to the bride. She doesn’t need this nonsense clouding her special day!

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Use social media to your advantage. Connect with potential contacts in various ways like direct messaging, comments and “likes.” Giving them little reminders that you are around and supportive can facilitate relationships in “real” life, too.