Absentee father wants to reconnect

own mortality, he suddenly wants to be in my life.

I don’t want to fake a relationship, but I don’t really have much other family besides my mom’s parents, whom I lived with for most of my childhood. They think that I should do whatever feels best but have encouraged me to have an open mind. What do you think? — CONFLICTED OVER DAD

DEAR CONFLICTED OVER DAD: I agree with your grandparents on this one. You should do whatever helps you sleep at night. This is clearly bothering you and for good reasons. Maybe you feelas though if you meet with him you will somehow be betraying your mother. Maybe you feel so hurt by his abandonment that you wouldn’t even know how to start a relationship. Maybe you are afraid that if you do get close tohim, he will die from cancer andleave you alone again.

These are all valid feelings, but they are all rooted in fear. I think that deep down we make decisions from only two places — from love or from fear. If you make a decision based in love, what does that look like? Does that look like meeting him for a cup of coffee? I don’t have to tell you that he has behaved selfishly. But, if he is coming to you and wants to connect, maybe it is time to hear him out. He owes you and your mother and your family an apology. He owes you all those years. He can’t do that, and he knows it. But maybe, if he proves to be remorseful and willing to earn your trust, perhaps you can move from the past to the present and form a new friendship before it’s too late.

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Collaboration is the new competition. When you are at networking events, find people in businesses that you could work with. They will get the benefit of a new audience and so will you. It’s a win-win!