#LetsMakeASEEN: I Love You More Foundation

Oct. 27, 2016 is a day that the Trella family will never forget.

Mark Trella, 49, went to wake up his son Michael for school. But, when he walked in his room, something wasn’t right. He couldn’t get Michael to wake up. “He was always the last one to get up,” said Mr. Trella. “It wasn’t unusual for me to have to ask him more than once to get ready for school.”

But that morning was different. Michael, 15, had died in his sleep.

To this day, they have no answer as to why. “We tested for every test you could think of. Heart, brain, drugs, you name it. It all came back negative. That moment will forever be burned into my mind. It’s the kind of pain you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy,” said Mr. Trella. The Trellas grappled with the reality of losing one of their four sons, and so they had them all genetically tested to make sure there wasn’t some underlying issue. “When you lose a child, you just go numb. You can’t function,” he said. “You become a lost soul. I can’t explain it but it’s like your whole world shuts down.”

After Michael’s death, Mr. Trella and his wife, Sue Ellen, 49, wanted to do something in his honor. He had been a sophomore at Moon Area High School.

“The stories just started to pour in. I always knew Michael was innately good. I don’t brag about my kids, but he was just kind. He couldn’t be mean. He was always worried about others and cared about everyone.” One story that touched him was learning that Michael would never leave anyone out. If he saw someone sitting at the lunch table by themselves at school, he would go over and talk to him and bring him into the fold. “That was the kind of person that he was. I started learning all of these things about my son that I didn’t know. You really never know your children. He was the quiet one at home, but at school, he was funny, outgoing and a true connector. Learning these things made me want to be a better man for Michael.”

The community of Moon rallied around the family, wanting to show support. “I had mentioned to a friend of mine that I wanted to start a foundation to honor Michael, and he said that the wheels were already in motion. That’s just the kind of people we have in our neighborhood. They care about each other.”

At first, the foundation worked to give scholarships, both academic and one for lacrosse, a sport that Michael loved playing. “But my wife said that we needed to get really focused. What could we do that would really help families who have lost a child? Everyone wants to help when someone is sick, but when someone dies, often times, there are few resources available.”

They began thinking about how funeral and burial costs are out of reach for many families. “When you lose a child, the last thing you should have to worry about is how you are going to pay for a proper burial. We decided that we wanted to take the burden off of the shoulders of families in need.” Mr. Trella, who works in pharmaceutical sales, said his family was fortunate not to have that financial stress. “I was selfish at first. I just wanted people to know his name so that he would be alive for us. But, he inspired me. He taught me more about life than I ever could of taught him. I felt humbled thinking about what I could do to make him proud.”

The organization recently held a Kentucky Derby event on May 5 at the SNPJ Lodge in Imperial. “It was meant to be that we held this event there. Sally, who really took care of us at the lodge, suffered the loss of her own child just a few weeks ago. We were able to provide her with money to cover the funeral costs. This is what we are all about. This came full circle for us and while we cannot fill the hole that you have after losing a child, we can ease some stress. We were supposed to meet,” said Mr. Trella. The event raised $12,000. He believes that is just the beginning.

“Our hope is to connect as many families to us as possible. We want to raise a million dollars and give it all away to help grieving families. We would like to connect to Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh and other organizations to find families in need and reach out to them. That’s really what Michael’s legacy is all about. Reaching out to strangers, making them friends and not leaving anyone behind.”

In the end, it’s all about love.

To learn more about the I Love You More Foundation / The Michael Trella Foundation visit https:// www.facebook.com/I-LoveYou-More-The-MichaelTrella-Foundation319669308454807/. Together, #LetsMakeASEEN!

What is the focus of this coalition? We focus on ending family homelessness. The challenges families face are very different. Is their child safe from an abuser? Families often are lacking child care. Homelessness throughout federal sectors is defined differently. A child could be considered homeless by one organization but not by HUD. If you don’t have a permanent address and are bouncing around, where do you enroll your child in school? That doesn’t count as

My hope is that we get a consistent definition of homelessness. That families with no stable address will qualify for homeless services and help under HUD. We can support families by showing them the skills they need to get out of the cycle of poverty and homelessness.

Want to get involved with HEARTH #BehindTheSEEN? Visit http://www.hearthbp.