Husband is unhappy with sexless marriage

DEAR NATALIE: I’ve been married for 27 years. When we met, it was love at first sight for the both of us. I was only her second boyfriend. We took our time, and after six months we became intimate. We got married 1½ years later. After we got married, I was with her romantically only once or twice a year, and for some years it was ZERO times a year.

I’m not the type of man to sleep around, but I’m a hot 52year-old Latino male. I get looks from a lot of women. I’ve always made any woman I’ve been with happy.That’s not a problem.

I’ve tried talking to my wife about this lack of romance. Her response is, “I’m like my mother. We don’t like sex.” She knows that I’m unhappy and sad that we don’t connect on that level. I have even asked her to see a doctor because it could be hormonal, but it’s fallen on deaf ears.

I’m really lonely. I need affection. I’m the nurturer. I’m kind, gentle. I like to cook and clean. Sometimes I feel USED. I know she loves me, but this situation isn’t working. I feel so alone in my marriage. Any advice? — DESPERATELY SEEKING

DEAR DESPERATELY SEEKING: I applaud you for being loyal, for trying to talk to your wife about this and communicating your needs, but now it’s a matter of what you can live with (or without). If you really can’t imagine the rest of your life without sex (and I wouldn’t blame you), then you should consider a divorce. If she isn’t interested in sex, and it sounds like it hasn’t changed or gotten any better, I don’t know what other option you have. Perhaps by saying those words out loud, it might make her recognize just how unhappy you are, and maybe she will be open to going to a sex therapist together. But, if she still doesn’t get it or doesn’t seem to care, then you should move on.

Life is too short to be in a