In the cloud of Alzheimer’s, a gift becomes clear
Great-granddaughter treasures lessons she learned as young girl
Editor’s note: The compassion she developed as she helped her late great-grandmother, who had Alzheimer’s disease, was a gift Brooke Serra, 18, of Peters recently wrote about in a prize-winning essay for the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. Ms. Serra, a 2018 graduate of Chartiers Houston Junior/ Senior High School, said she was looking for scholarships when she entered the AFA contest. She was second runner-up and won $1,500. She’s headed to the University of Pittsburgh in the fall. Ms. Serra’s essay has been edited for use in the Post-Gazette:
Confusion, heartbreak and loss are some words that describe the unfortunate impact that Alzheimer’s disease has had on my life. However, words like growth, loyalty and value of life describe what I gained. Alzheimer’s disease has had an impact on me since I was a very young child and is part of what has made me who I am today.
My great-grandmother began to be affected by Alzheimer’s disease before I was born, so my only memories with her were of when she was sick. For about a year and a half my great-grandmother began to show signs of dementia — she began forgetting to take her medicine and got lost or could not remember how to get home.
The decision to move her into a nursing home fell largely on my mother. Her mother — my great-grandmother’s daughter — was not able to cope with the drastic changes happening. She lived out of state and could not confront her mother’s condition.
Because of how much my mom loved my great-grandmother, she became her primary caregiver while she was pregnant with me and worried about her own family as well. My mother paid her medical bills, kept my great-grandmother from getting lost, kept track of the weekly appointments and grocery shopping, and much more.
Eventually the decision was made to move my great-grandmother into a nursing home at age 82. While she was still fairly independent, she required the assistance of nurses in order to keep her safe. Moving her into the nursing home forced my grandmother to realize the gravity of her mother’s illness and overcome her denial.
As I grew up, I learned how to help take care of my great-grandmother as well. Even though I was very young, I started to understand just how sick she truly was.
Because she could not remember who I was, every visit became a new introduction. I also understood that she did not know where she was since she would “go shopping” and steal belongings from other residents’ rooms.
It was scary to see her in such a confused state, but I knew that spending time with her was helpful. She always calmed down when I was there, and she always told me that she loved me, even when she could not remember my name.
As a child, I did not enjoy going to the nursing home. It was a scary experience for me to be in that kind of environment as often as I was. I did not enjoy the number of confused elderly people who would approach me without warning. I was not used to so many people touching me or just walking up and talking to me as if I were their grandchild.
However, learning how to adapt to an unfamiliar, unnerving situation like that taught me a lot about loyalty, overcoming fear and respect for elderly people who are sick or mentally disabled. I learned how to be compassionate even if someone does not understand who you are orcannot get to know you.
This was true for all of the residents of the nursing home, but especially for my great-grandmother. Her last name was Bearinger, so we allcalled her Nana Bear. She loved being called that, and the classic “teddy bear” became what we all remember her by. She was given at least one teddy bear on every special occasion, and she had them everywhere in her room. She loved her teddy bears, and now we hold on to themas reminders of her.
Throughout my childhood, we did our best to visit my great-grandmother every week as a family. These visits not only helped my great-grandmother but also helpedmy family as a whole. These visits helped us all develop a closeness and unity. We shared the burden, which made it not seem like a burden. We spent so much time in the nursing home in fact, that most of the significant events of my childhood werecelebrated there.
My annual piano recital was held there, as well as almost all of our family birthdays. We all loved her and created special bonds with her up until the day she died. She passed away at age 93; I was 12 years old.
Some might argue that Alzheimer’s disease takes away meaning in a person’s life. On the contrary, Alzheimer’s disease can bring meaning to people’s lives in a way that no one expects.
It is still very hard to not have known her when she was healthy because of the loving impact she had on the people around her. She was the oldest of six daughters raised during the Great Depression, married a Navy officer who served in World War II, and raised two children. Later she raised my mom and uncle when my grandmother needed help as a single parent. Serving her family was how my greatgrandmotherlived her life.
Alzheimer’s created an opportunity for our family to serve her in return.
My future plans include becomingan elementary special education teacher. I would ensure that my students learn the same things that I learned from having a family member with Alzheimer’s disease. I want to teach my students how to respect and care for elderly people, and put in the effort to show that they care. I want to take my students on field trips to let them experience the compassion that I was able to develop while taking care of my great-grandmother.
I want to give children as many opportunities as possible to become comfortable around people who have illnesses such as Alzheimer’s disease or dementia. For many children, as with me, it is scary to be around people with these types of illnesses because they are unpredictable and are not fully aware of their actions. However, through exposure and leading by example, I can allow my students to become comfortable in unfamiliar andoften frightening places.
The impact that Alzheimer’s disease had on my life through my great-grandmother’s journey is something that can never be replaced or re-created. It taught me to love unconditionally, to honor family bonds, and to do what is necessary even throughscary situations.
I have learned how necessary it is to cherish the time that we have left with our family and friends. I have also learned that nothing is pointless when it comes to helping people with Alzheimer’s disease. Even if they do not remember us, it means more to offer dignity and respect for their lives than to simply acknowledge or recognize them. A simple smile or holding a hand can mean the world to a person with Alzheimer’s disease, so we should always put in the extra effort to provide them eventhe smallest of comforts.
It was scary to see her in such a confused state, but I knew that spending time with her was helpful. She always calmed down when I was there, and she always told me that she loved me, even when she could not remember my name.